The Love-Hate Challenge…

Wanda from A Girl named Wanda has nominated me to participate in the Love-Hate Challenge. In this challenge, I have to list 10 things I love and 10 things I hate, then I’m supposed to nominate other bloggers for the challenge, but seeing as I’m off to a late start it seems most of those that I would have nominated have already taken part. So instead I will leave an open invitation for anyone that hasn’t participated yet and wants to, to go ahead and tell us what you love and hate 🙂

My Love list: or things that leave me all a flutter:

1) Music… music can literally alter my moods, change the way my day is going, lift me up or leave me sobbing. I cannot imagine a world without music, it is capable of stripping you down and leaving your soul naked and bare. I love it!

2) Creative expression… this of course does include music, but really any art form falls under this heading, writing, drawing, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, cooking/baking, painting, rearranging furniture, photography, you name it if it is a creative outlet I love it and am willing to give it try.

3) Nature… I do not come across as an outdoorsy girl and I don’t spend near enough time outside. But I truly love communing with nature. Walking through a meadow or wandering in the forest, climbing rocks and walking logs on the beach, staring at the moon and stars,seeing a sunset or a sunrise (if I can haul my butt out of bed early enough) there’s something magical about these experiences.

4) Sleeping… I love curling up in a comfy bed and just releasing the day as I drift off to sleep.

5) Food… Food can be such an amazing source of comfort, and pleasure. There is something to be said about a good meal that leaves you not too full but rather perfectly satisfied. I like all kinds of food from all kinds of ethnicities.

6) Spending quality time with the ones I love… Be it friend or family there is nothing like being with those you love, what more is there to say about that?

7) Alone time… I have been a mom for more of my life than I have not been, and there is something about that experience that has taught me to really appreciate alone time. Alone time when kids are little is far and few and in between – I mean seriously at that stage you can’t even pee alone without someone crying outside the door with their little fingers pushed under the door wiggling at you. Now that they are older, half the nest has already flown to start their own lives, I am glad that I am learning to take alone time. I am realizing that one day I will be alone and I have to know how to be comfortable with myself, with being my own company.

8) Flowers… I love flowers. I think that a nicely arranged bouquet of flowers just adds something to a room. I don’t care if it’s wild flowers that have been hand picked or a simple bouquet of carnations from the local grocery store they add a lovely pop of color, and hint of perfume to a room. This was a sore spot in my marriage, I wanted flowers, and he just didn’t get it. Now I have learned to buy myself a bouquet every once in a while.

9) A good book… Reading a good book is like living another life for a short time. You get to explore new worlds, make new friends and borrow someone else’s eyes.

10) Love… I am in love with notion of love. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” I believe in all the fairytales, love at first sight, soulmates, love conquers all, all you need is love… I love love.

My Hate list: or things that make my skin crawl and my guts churn:

1) Creepy crawlers… I do not like spiders, millipede type critters, earwigs, creepy crawlers freak me right out. That scene in King Kong when Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is hiding in the rotting log and all the bugs come out and start crawling on her… JUST NO!!!!

2) Puking… I do not deal well with vomit. I doesn’t matter who is sick, myself or others, I hate it. I can’t see it, smell it, or hear it or my gag reflex starts. My poor dear children learned young, Mom will get you a cold cloth for your head, she’ll wipe your tears and get you to the toilet then she’ll stand in the hall till you’re done. (I suddenly feel really guilty about this…)

3) Guilt… I hate guilt. I’m not talking about legitimate feelings of guilt for having actually done something wrong. I’m talking about the type of guilt that comes from manipulation, or from feelings of duty. You know the would’a, should’a, could’a type of guilt. It sucks and is not in anyway productive or helpful.

4) Bad movies and literature… I feel ripped off when I have invested my time and energy into something that is just plain old bad. Movies with no real plot or flat characters, books that are overly predictable or poorly written, it is just a waste.

5) Negative judgmental people… OK I don’t actually hate the people but I do hate being surrounded with negativity and mountains of judgement. One of the evils of this is it rubs off on you. If I spend my time with someone who is constantly making negative, judgy comments eventually I catch myself being negative and judgy. And being like that just feels gross.

6) Fast food and being out of shape… These two go hand in hand. They are nasty habits that are extremely easy to fall into, and they can quickly become an addictive lifestyle which makes them difficult to break.

7) Not sleeping… Crawling into my comfy bed and then tossing and turning all nite long sucks!

8) Drama… I hate dealing with drama. Somedays it feels like I am surrounded by a bunch of drama queens. If I could just ignore it all and walk away I would but sadly their drama effects me and my life as this is family.

9) Obligation… I despise doing things because I ‘have’ to, because it’s my so-called obligation, duty, job, responsibilty… I don’t care what you call it . I feel like I’m slowly being choked to death, gasping for air. It leads to resentment which is a terrible feeling.

10) Hate… I despise the notion of hate. Hate detroys people, cultures, countries. It causes so much pain and creates cycles that are so hard to break. I can’t fathom how anyone can truly hate someone. It is a very low thing to take all your fear and project it onto another person, a group of people or an entire ethnicity. I just don’t understand it at all. I hate hate.

And there you have it folks… 10 things I love and 10 things I hate. Again feel free to participate if you haven’t received an official nomination.Be sure to link or ping back to me so I can read your lists 🙂

Death by complacency…

Do you think it is possible to die from complacency? Do you think our dreams and desires can just wither up and blow away in the wind? Do you believe that each person has a purpose? That every one of us is unique by design and has some sort of special function in society? A divine reason to be? Or do we just exist, be born, work, pay bills, get old, die?

I am starting to believe that complacency is the rot that slowly eats away at the soul leaving us to wander as metaphorical zombies through life. I think it consumes our moral fibre, it kills hope, desire, morale, incentive… causes us to just give up, and leaves behind a resounding cry of “meh, good enough.”

You know the catch phrases: “It’s the way it is and the way it’s always been.” “Get with the program.” “Your dreams won’t pay the bills or put food on your plate.” “Grow up and get your head out of the clouds.” “Just work harder and you’ll eventually catch your break.” blah, blah, blah the voices of the disenfranchised. (I gave up on my dreams now it’s your turn…)

As a society we seem to suffer from a severe case of settling. It’s easier to conform to the routine of life than to take the plunge and do what we were meant to do; LIVE! Fear holds back the masses. “But this is how it’s supposed to be, right?” but if this is how it’s meant to be then why, oh why are we all so unhappy, so blah, going through the motions eagerly pleading for our days off to arrive quickly, yet never feeling like they are enough? Working at jobs that we find mediocre at best just to barely pay the bills, never having that extra bit that we swear we will start setting aside next payday, every payday, so that one day we can do whatever that dream of ours is… buy a boat, go on vacation, get the tools or art supplies or technology to make it a reality.

This morning on the way to work I was listening to the radio, I discovered that minimum wage is going up again: $0.40 an hour, come this September. I’m not sure that is going to make a huge difference to people trying to survive on it but it’s a step in the right direction. Anyways the announcers went on to say that according to recent studies in order for people to survive above the “poverty line” in the area I live minimum wage would need to be $17.10 per hour. That is more than I currently make an hour and is $6.85 more than the current minimum wage. No wonder so many people seem to have given up. No wonder complacency has enveloped the masses. We are tired of fighting a losing battle. An invisible war between the haves and the have-nots. And I am not just talking about people here, those who have and those who have-not, but rather dreams, I’m referencing the war of have and have-not for our dreams.

The sacrifices we have made, most likely not even on a conscious level, in order to survive (barely) in a society that promises to provide and give in abundance if we would just work a little harder, give a little more, yet in the end it only seems  to take and continues to demand more! more! more! until there is nothing left. Nothing but an empty husk that was once ripe and full of dreams and now is barren and withered like an old woman’s womb.

I seem to cycle through my complacency. It hits in waves. A wave crashes down and I feel so overwhelmed by it I cannot fathom moving forward. Then it recedes and I feel the sun’s warmth, I see it’s brilliance and I am filled with hope. I struggle to upright myself, to make my way across the beach, just as another wave crashes down on me. But I will not give up. Even if I have to crawl across the beach, enduring the pummeling waves. I will make it, I can see the line where the waves give way and cannot reach… I will make it. How about you?

Why Having Low Expectations Is Killing Your Happiness

I had to reblog this, it came at exactly right moment…

Why Having Low Expectations Is Killing Your Happiness.