myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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I will share my world (however inconcistent that may be)… episode 6

Share Your World – 2015 Week #26.

sywbanner

Apparently this is week 26. Now I did start late into the year. But I also am not set in a rythym where I’m managing to do this each and every week. So why bother, right? Well I think these are kind of fun, and as I have not been posting much of anything as of late I figure better inconsistent SYW than nothing…  so here goes :)

In a car would you rather drive or be a passenger?

Well this is an open ended question for me as it really depends on a bunch of factors. Who am I with? Where am I going? What car/vehicle am I driving? These all affect whether I am comfortable driving or preferring to just chillax in the passengers seat.

I am finding that I like driving more than I used to, but in the same breathe I get super anxious driving where I’ve never been, or in extreme traffic. I also know that not all cars drive the same, some you can hop into and just go, and some… well you want to get used them.

And don’t get me started on the who I’m with part… you all know what I’m talking about right?

If you were handed free opera tickets, would you go or sell them? Why?

I think I probably would go. Of course there are factors to be taken into account like where is this Opera? When is this Opera. I have never seen a live Opera but I have been to a few musicals. I think it would be a very powerful experience.

Describe your own outlook on life in seven words or less. (NOTE: does not necessarily have to be a sentence.)

Seven words or less… EEPS!

Always love, be kind, show compassion, and stand tall.

Which would you prefer: a wild, turbulent life filled with joy, sorrow, passion, and adventure–intoxicating successes and stunning setbacks; or a contented bordering on happy, secure, predictable life surrounded by friends and family without such wide swings of fortune and mood?

I’m gonna say door # 1! I think a contented (but not quite happy) life without any ‘swings’ sounds especially dull. On the other hand “joy, sorrow, passion, and adventure” sounds amazing to me. Upon reflection I am thinking that perhaps I already have that and just need to adjust my attitude a bit?

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Hhhmmm, Last week was one of the toughest weeks financially I have had in a very long time, so I’m gonna say I’m thankful it’s over.I am also thankful that my eldest turned 25, and she has become an amazing woman right before my eyes. And I babysat my grandbabies on Saturday, which is bittersweet. They were very good for me although a bit crazy (3 year olds are insane!) But I am very allergic to the family pets and so I suffer for days afterward with itchy eyes and stuffy nose, you know the drill I’m sure. Which is why I’m grateful that my daughter finished her course and I don’t have to babysit at their house again for a bit.

This week I am thankful that Wednesday is Canada Day meaning a stat holiday, AND it is my 6th anniversary for becoming single and starting on the road toward finding me. Also Friday is Payday!!! woohoo!


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Coming Clean… part 2

At the beginning of June I posted “Coming Clean”. I explained how I have been feeling that I need to put together a personal ritual or ceremony of cleansing over myself, my life, my family and my home. As part of this coming clean process I have been writing out cleansing statements. These statements represent what I want to say, and where I want to say them when I walk through my home, and carry on with my life. I personally believe that the spoken word has a lot of power. I believe that words can build, and that they can destroy. I know they can hold people prisoner. I also believe that part of the spoken word’s power is our faith in those words. We must acknowledge them and trust that they are true (or false) or they are just meaningless sounds uttered into the wind.

Anyways I have put together my daily “mantra” if you will. I have been saying this over myself at least twice a day since Monday June 22.

“I am calling home all of the energy that I have left behind or given away carelessly. And I release all energies that I am carrying that do not belong to me, sending them back to whomever or wherever they belong.”

(This mantra is evolving and keeps changing to be smoother and more meaningful to me as I continue to say it.)

I can’t say that these words are necessarily restoring me at this point but I can safely say that they are helping me to see what I do and what I don’t have control over, and that I can change the things I do have control over, and find peace with the things I don’t. These words are helping me to be more self aware about how I spend my energy, and about who I am pouring that energy into and to take a moment to look at why. To be able to ask myself “What is the motive for why I am doing this?” It’s important for me to be motivated by love, an honest desire to help or give and to have pure intentions. If I am acting out of guilt, duty, or because it’s just easier, then I probably should be saying no. If I have already said no then I need to stand by that unless there is a valid reason to change my mind. And if I am giving because I am motivated by gain, I need to re-evaluate the cost. Is that gain equal to or greater than what I am giving away?

I hope this doesn’t sound selfish in any way, it’s not meant to. I am acting on the premise of self care. I have spent far too much of my life as a “giver”. I have given till I have been depleted and then not been able to give when and where I really felt I should because there was nothing left. This practice has left me sick, tired and resentful. It’s time to learn to act on the things I have learned and believe. Self care is essential to caring for others. The bible says “Love your neighbour as yourself”, I think that if that is the second out of only two commands the first being “love the lord your God with all your heart” then it’s pretty freaking important. So why are we are taught that self love is the sin of pride? (That, my friends, is another conversation for another time.)

Here’s to coming out clean, no matter how long or how strange the process may seem. :)


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The inconsistent Sharing of my world… episode 5

And once again I am trying my hand at Share Your World, hosted by the lovely Cee over at Cee’s Photography.

sywbannerFor your blog do you basically use Mac or Windows applications. What type of device laptop, desktop,tablet, phone or pad?

It depends. If I’m posting from work I am using a workstation computer on Windows 7, if I’m posting from home a laptop with Windows 8.1. But to check my notifications I generally use my phone (android). I actually compose all of my posts on notepad, I am very hi-tech I know. You see I find that Word is not really compatible – it screws up my formatting. And I don’t construct in WordPress as I usually do a bit here, a bit there and like to edit some and add some and all that jazz.

If you were to treat yourself to the “finer things” what would you treat yourself to?

I don’t know!!! “finer things” What does that even mean? Hhmmmm… I think I would travel, stay in expensive places and eat delicacies until I got bored with it, of course one needs money to do that sooooo… I’m perfectly happy with a good cut of steak grilled medium rare and an ice cold wheat ale thank you…

Can you change a car tire?

I can as long as the bolts are not too tight… which means I know how too but “No” I probably cannot.

The 4th question this week is answer this poll about “how you would like to see the question formats for Share Your World”. Feel free to answer the questions in your post too.

I answered the poll and here’s my two cents: I think breaking it up a little is an excellent idea. I enjoy answering the questions, I loved the list thing and although I didn’t do the complete the sentence one I had intended too and thought it was an interesting option. I’m game at trying other things as well so by all means Cee be creative and do whatever feels right to you. :)

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

The past weekend I babysat my grandbabies and the youngest (just turned 1) was my little cuddle buddy. We weren’t sure how she’d fair for nearly 7 hours with me and no mom but she was a complete angel. And daughter #2 her graduation commencement ceremony is this Thursday, so I am looking forward to that this week.

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