myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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The Love-Hate Challenge…

Wanda from A Girl named Wanda has nominated me to participate in the Love-Hate Challenge. In this challenge, I have to list 10 things I love and 10 things I hate, then I’m supposed to nominate other bloggers for the challenge, but seeing as I’m off to a late start it seems most of those that I would have nominated have already taken part. So instead I will leave an open invitation for anyone that hasn’t participated yet and wants to, to go ahead and tell us what you love and hate ๐Ÿ™‚

My Love list: or things that leave me all a flutter:

1) Music… music can literally alter my moods, change the way my day is going, lift me up or leave me sobbing. I cannot imagine a world without music, it is capable of stripping you down and leaving your soul naked and bare. I love it!

2) Creative expression… this of course does include music, but really any art form falls under this heading, writing, drawing, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, cooking/baking, painting, rearranging furniture, photography, you name it if it is a creative outlet I love it and am willing to give it try.

3) Nature… I do not come across as an outdoorsy girl and I don’t spend near enough time outside. But I truly love communing with nature. Walking through a meadow or wandering in the forest, climbing rocks and walking logs on the beach, staring at the moon and stars,seeing a sunset or a sunrise (if I can haul my butt out of bed early enough) there’s something magical about these experiences.

4) Sleeping… I love curling up in a comfy bed and just releasing the day as I drift off to sleep.

5) Food… Food can be such an amazing source of comfort, and pleasure. There is something to be said about a good meal that leaves you not too full but rather perfectly satisfied. I like all kinds of food from all kinds of ethnicities.

6) Spending quality time with the ones I love… Be it friend or family there is nothing like being with those you love, what more is there to say about that?

7) Alone time… I have been a mom for more of my life than I have not been, and there is something about that experience that has taught me to really appreciate alone time. Alone time when kids are little is far and few and in between – I mean seriously at that stage you can’t even pee alone without someone crying outside the door with their little fingers pushed under the door wiggling at you. Now that they are older, half the nest has already flown to start their own lives, I am glad that I am learning to take alone time. I am realizing that one day I will be alone and I have to know how to be comfortable with myself, with being my own company.

8) Flowers… I love flowers. I think that a nicely arranged bouquet of flowers just adds something to a room. I don’t care if it’s wild flowers that have been hand picked or a simple bouquet of carnations from the local grocery store they add a lovely pop of color, and hint of perfume to a room. This was a sore spot in my marriage, I wanted flowers, and he just didn’t get it. Now I have learned to buy myself a bouquet every once in a while.

9) A good book… Reading a good book is like living another life for a short time. You get to explore new worlds, make new friends and borrow someone else’s eyes.

10) Love… I am in love with notion of love. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” I believe in all the fairytales, love at first sight, soulmates, love conquers all, all you need is love… I love love.

My Hate list: or things that make my skin crawl and my guts churn:

1) Creepy crawlers… I do not like spiders, millipede type critters, earwigs, creepy crawlers freak me right out. That scene in King Kong when Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is hiding in the rotting log and all the bugs come out and start crawling on her… JUST NO!!!!

2) Puking… I do not deal well with vomit. I doesn’t matter who is sick, myself or others, I hate it. I can’t see it, smell it, or hear it or my gag reflex starts. My poor dear children learned young, Mom will get you a cold cloth for your head, she’ll wipe your tears and get you to the toilet then she’ll stand in the hall till you’re done. (I suddenly feel really guilty about this…)

3) Guilt… I hate guilt. I’m not talking about legitimate feelings of guilt for having actually done something wrong. I’m talking about the type of guilt that comes from manipulation, or from feelings of duty. You know the would’a, should’a, could’a type of guilt. It sucks and is not in anyway productive or helpful.

4) Bad movies and literature… I feel ripped off when I have invested my time and energy into something that is just plain old bad. Movies with no real plot or flat characters, books that are overly predictable or poorly written, it is just a waste.

5) Negative judgmental people… OK I don’t actually hate the people but I do hate being surrounded with negativity and mountains of judgement. One of the evils of this is it rubs off on you. If I spend my time with someone who is constantly making negative, judgy comments eventually I catch myself being negative and judgy. And being like that just feels gross.

6) Fast food and being out of shape… These two go hand in hand. They are nasty habits that are extremely easy to fall into, and they can quickly become an addictive lifestyle which makes them difficult to break.

7) Not sleeping… Crawling into my comfy bed and then tossing and turning all nite long sucks!

8) Drama… I hate dealing with drama. Somedays it feels like I am surrounded by a bunch of drama queens. If I could just ignore it all and walk away I would but sadly their drama effects me and my life as this is family.

9) Obligation… I despise doing things because I ‘have’ to, because it’s my so-called obligation, duty, job, responsibilty… I don’t care what you call it . I feel like I’m slowly being choked to death, gasping for air. It leads to resentment which is a terrible feeling.

10) Hate… I despise the notion of hate. Hate detroys people, cultures, countries. It causes so much pain and creates cycles that are so hard to break. I can’t fathom how anyone can truly hate someone. It is a very low thing to take all your fear and project it onto another person, a group of people or an entire ethnicity. I just don’t understand it at all. I hate hate.

And there you have it folks… 10 things I love and 10 things I hate. Again feel free to participate if you haven’t received an official nomination.Be sure to link or ping back to me so I can read your lists ๐Ÿ™‚


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What is Love?

Love, hhmmm let me write about love. What is there to say? So, so much… where does one begin? What is love? I mean really what is it anyway? We can class it into various forms too. There is romantic love, platonic love, family love… they all have a few things in common. First they are all about having a bond with some-one (sex, friendship or blood). And they all revolve around an emotional connection built on trust.

a group of 4 & 5 yr olds were asked what is love? this was one of the answers...

a group of 4 & 5 yr olds were asked what is love? this was one of the answers…

Some people have boiled it down to a simple release of chemicals in the brain. I say no way to that, it is so much more. Perhaps lust or attraction is a chemical release, but love is more than feeling giddy and a roll in the hay (that may very well be a part of it however).

No! Love is like oxygen!… Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!ย  ~ Moulin Rouge

Some say love is a feeling. I believe Love is so much more than just a feeling actually. It is not a noun but a verb. It is something we do. We can show love in our lives, in the way we interact with people. It is about sacrifice. It is about being able to be raw, to be our true selves with some-one. It is about feeling safe. It is about trust.

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. ~ Moulin Rouge

I believe that love cannot exist without trust. If we do not trust the person we are with, how can we love them? How can we be ourselves? How can we let our guard down and be vulnerable? Aaahhh yes vulnerability. Love is about being vulnerable. When some-one takes advantage of our love and breaks the bond of trust, how do we carry on in that relationship? Or maybe it is better to ask how can that relationship be what it was? Some people have managed to restore broken love, some allow it to turn to hate.

Love is to be vulnerable...

Love is to be vulnerable…

And what is hate? Well just like with love there are many definitions for hate. But I tend to believe that hate is just wounded love. (There is another entity that is often labeled as hate, a vile evil thing that lives in some hearts, which I believe needs a different defining word โ€“ loathing maybe? But I will not get into that right now, maybe another time). Hate, loves counterpart, rears its head when some-one we love wounds us, abandons us, or says/does something that breaks our faith and hope.

Love, itโ€™s a funny thing. We canโ€™t control it, everyone desires it. We cannot survive without it. It tends to come when we least expect it. And it joins us, every single person on this planet, together in one way or another.

Ellie Goulding โ€“ Your Song cover

It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money, but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world

If I was a sculptor, but then again no
Or a girl who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song, and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world