myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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Day 52 – Finding Contentment

I am happy with some basic changes I have made recently in my life. I am learning to be content. This is occurring through small steps. Part of it has been ‘100 Days of Something’, seriously stopping and reflecting on what has brought even just a moment of happy or peace today has been eye opening. Some days it is so easy, there is so much. Some days it is really hard. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that those are bad days, ironically they aren’t the bad days seem easier because the happy bits are more prominent. Its the neither good nor bad days that I find difficult. everything just blends into the blasé feeling of the day. Trying to pinpoint one moment of meh as being any better than another is like finding a needle in a haystack. But I am getting better at it. I have realized that I don’t want my life to be a blur of meh… that just isn’t good enough… I want more.

One of the things that is helping with feeling more at peace is I am sleeping better. Every Sunday through to Thursday I do roughly 5 – 15 minutes of exercise right before bed. I know it doesn’t sound like very much but it really helps and is helping me to build a healthy habit. I am surprised how doing as little as 5 minutes of exercise can actually make the difference between tossing and turning all nite and sleeping.

Part of this is learning to let go of other people’s judgements and do what makes me happy, regardless if other people agree or understand.

And then there is learning to share. I have experiences in my life that I have faced silently on my own terms and then hidden and buried. But they aren’t helping anyone being buried. So I am slowly digging them up and sharing. Some of it is hard, because I am embarrassed or ashamed. Some of it because even though it has been dealt with it is still painful, probably always will be. So I will reveal bits and pieces of my puzzle and hopefully there will be those who manage to put those pieces together and see an accurate picture.

So yea, I am learning to be content, whether things are good, bad or simply meh. Content is always welcome ❤