myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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Day 17 – Direction…

Today I am trying to find my direction. I feel like I do not know where I am going. It’s not a bad thing, in that it keeps me searching and moving forward. It would be so easy to just say “whatever” and hibernate. But that isn’t in me. There are days where I wish that I could do that, I wish because it would be easier. Especially since I do not know where I am heading. I don’t know the answer. I know the question. The question is “what?”.

What do I want to do with myself?

What do I want to do for a living?

What is my passion?

What do I truly love?

What is holding me back?

What are my excuses?

What… what… what?

But I feel so lost sometimes, and don’t have answers to the questions. Oh the answers they are there. They are floating around just below the surface of dark murky water. I know they are there, I feel can them, but I can’t see them and can’t quite grasp them.

I guess I am thankful for every day that I am given to look a little deeper and to try to  find my direction.

I wish I had a sign like this showing me which way to go… it would make things pretty simple.


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Day 16 – Adaptability…

Today was my Friday this week. As I have limited vacation days I have learned to use them wisely. I take advantage of long weekends and extend them getting the most bang for the least amount of used days. For example I have 6 glorious days in a row off yet only took 2 vacation days. Yay!!

Anyways I am so thankful today is my Friday as I had a very restless sleep lastnite and slept with my arm all twisted up underneath me. Today my am has been quite sore and I am fairly sure I may have pulled something. Have you ever slept ‘wrong’ and gotten a crick in your neck? This is very similar but it’s my elbow and forearm. I don’t recall doing things like this when I was younger and am hoping it is not a getting older thing. I am good at adapting though. Typing with one hand. Printing somewhat legibly with my left hand. Just making do with what is. I am however praying that after a good sleep it will be better tomorrow.

It’s funny how even though I am writing about my arm, I am actually thinking about life. Adaptability is how we survive – or don’t. Life is constantly placing obstacles in our paths and the only way to overcome them and move forward is by being adaptable. We must learn to go with the flow sometimes. Swimming against the current is exhausting. I am not talking about conforming to societal norms, or compromising our integrity and beliefs; but rather about knowing when to let go. Knowing when it is necessary to release beliefs and ideals that are no longer working. Knowing when to accept, or even embrace change. Accepting that somethings are beyond our control and that it’s OK.

Adaptability… it’s how the strong survive.

darwin_adaptability1


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Day 15 – Chasing the eclipse…

Lastnite – or this morning if you want to get technical – the 14 year old and I really wanted to see the blood moon. We waited till it was supposed to already be red and high in the sky, but when we got out there nothing. Not a single star. Not a glimmer. Not a hint of the moon through the clouds. Just in case we walked the complex and up the road. Still nothing. Then we hoped in the car and drove around looking for a break in the trees where we could determine the extent of the cloud cover.

Clouds 1 – Eclipse hunters 0

But it was fun, and it was nice spending some time doing something different. However I have been very tired today.

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If we had actually found the moon this would  be a series of pictures me and 14 had taken, but alas I took it from a Google search.

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