myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


13 Comments

There is something wrong here…

What is wrong with people?

I saw this on FB this morning.

Basically some guy put 365 hand written love-notes in a mason jar for his girlfriend. The intention is for her to pick one each morning as a sweet and inspirational way to start the day. I think the sentiment is romantic and sweet. Who’s with me on that? I would be flattered by both the thought and the effort put into something like that.

OK now comes my problem… people are assholes. Especially women between about 35 and 55. Yes I went there and I said it. It seems that middle aged women are bunch of jilted, unromantic, hard-hearted bitches, with massive trust issues! Remember the old adage “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”? I made the mistake of reading some of the comments left on FB. It made me very sad and angry. A few men commented, but mostly it was women. And they were rude! (OOPs I am ranting here and so I’m not really saying anything nice myself… I think that may be called hypocrisy – but seriously I am so tired of seeing stuff like this all over the internet, there is a reason why 75%+ of the time I refuse to read comments on internet posts)

There are rude comments about how lame such a gesture is. Comments about how lame their man is “I’d have been happy just with my husband putting the loo seat back down”. Comments about the guy being a pussy “That guy needs some testicles for Christmas”. A lot of comments such as “I’d run!”, “BARF!”, “CREEPY!”. And if some-one dared say something nice or supportive, they got put in their place pretty quickly:

Comment: Anyone that thinks this is sickening or wimpy etc really needs to re-evaluate their relationships. This is a very sweet gesture and it comes right from his heart. How awesome is it when you’re having a bad day and you read a little note or quote from the person you love. It’s priceless really.

Reply: Any guy that has this much time on his hands needs to do some re-evaluating. Its needy and manipulative behavior.

How is it needy and manipulative? I mean I haven’t read the actually notes, so maybe it is needy and manipulative. But the idea is not. The idea is personal. The idea is one motivated by love and a desire to create happiness. It’s like having a 365 page book with your favourite quotes, lyrics and love notes, one page per day. Suddenly if you look at is as a published book about self-love & self-help it’s inspirational, motivating, maybe even a breath of fresh air. But as a hand made gesture of romantic love it’s apparently clingy, pukey, terrifying and manipulative…

I just do not get it. I cannot wrap my brain around the mistrust, fear and anger that this brought forth in so many people.

Women are constantly complaining that romance and chivalry are dead. That they want a nice, good, decent guy. And then something like this is shared and they go all ape shit about everything that is apparently wrong about it. No wonder guys don’t know what we want.

The funny thing about it is that most comments I read from guys were not negative (although some were), quite a few guys said they had done similar things to propose or for Valentine’s etc. just not as elaborate.

So maybe romance and chivalry are not dead, maybe the men who aspire to be such things have been beaten for their attempts and are no longer willing to put the effort forth for fear of the backlash? I don’t know. I just needed to vent…


2 Comments

That Thing called Perspective…

Today The office I work at was being honored at the local Chamber luncheon for being a member for 25 years. We all had to attend. I am not big on crowds, or on networking, especially in a forced environment, especially well… crowds… of people… that I DO.NOT.KNOW! And we had to get our pictures taken while receiving our lovely “25 years of membership” plaque. (More awkward uncomfortableness).

But in the end it wasn’t such a bad experience. People were generally nice and many seemed like they felt just as out of place as I did. And I’ve decided that rather than focus on how that is so not my thing. Or allow myself to dwell on the uncomfortable, negative aspects of a lunch spent sitting at a table of strangers, and getting my picture taken in a room full of strangers. I am going to analyze why I felt so uncomfortable, what is it that causes the anxiety and awkwardness? This way I can work towards overcoming it.

I have recently started watching Parks and Recreation. I find the show really quite funny. Well, today’s lunch made me realize just how much I can relate to Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie Knope, she is one of the most socially awkward people EVER. How did I become this? I used to be fairly outgoing. I was never great in large crowds but I wasn’t afraid of a table of 5 strangers. And as a teenager, getting my picture taken was no big thing, come on it was attention! Now it’s attention I do not want. OK I am not as bad as Leslie Knope, I have never panicked and excused myself to go to the “whiz palace… the bathroom, right I need to go to the bathroom!”. But I do get tongue tied and say stupid things. One on one, small groups, a setting I am comfortable in I’m fine, but put me somewhere where I feel anxious, and add a bunch of strangers (try 100 or so), forget it.

And so this is my new goal. I am going to change my perspective (hence the title…). I will stop and look at why I feel anxious, embarrassed and awkward. And then focus on what I can do to ease these feelings, with the final goal to stop. Today was a good learning experience.

Step 1: think clearly before speaking.

Stranger “Hello my name is Yeshka”

Me “Yeshka… I like that”

stop rewind… try again

Me “Yeshka, what a lovely name, my name is Andrea”.

See much better, less socially awkward and now she also knows my name.

I can so do this… I mean seriously at this point it’s 1 step. As I figure things out there will be more steps, but for now 1 step – THINK then speak, how can I possibly screw that up? I think I need more me time and more adult that is not my family time, I have become a hermit crab and now it’s time to loose the shell. :)

(I was going to add some cute pictures of Hermit crabs with and without their shells, but after looking at Google images of hermit crabs I have changed my mind… Hermit crabs look like parasitic aliens, they are FREAKY!!!)

hermitcrab

OK I added one, and see it is kind of freaky looking.


2 Comments

Lost Stars… Begin Again

I watched the movie Begin Again the other day and quite enjoyed it… Here is one of the feature songs:

Please, don’t see
Just a boy caught up in dreams
And fantasies

Please, see me
Reaching out for someone
I can’t see

Take my hand
Let’s see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans
Sometimes are just a one night stand

I’ll be damned
Cupid’s demanding back it’s arrow
So let’s get drunk on our tears

And God, tell us the reason
Youth is wasted on the young
It’s hunting season
And the lambs are on the run

Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark

Who are we?
Just a speck of dust
Within the galaxy?

Woe, is me
If we’re not careful
Turns into reality

But don’t you dare
Let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page
Maybe we’ll find a brand new ending
Where we’re dancing in our tears

And God, tell us the reason
Youth is wasted on the young
It’s hunting season
And the lambs are on the run

We’re searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying
But just the same

And God, give us the reason
Youth is wasted on the young
It’s hunting season
And this lamb is on the run

Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark

I thought I saw you out there crying
I thought I heard you call my name
I thought I heard you out there crying

But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark

But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,185 other followers