myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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Drops of Jupiter…

Hey Ronnie it’s “our” song!!!

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January is for assessment, and that’s good enough for me!

It’s turning out that January is my month for assessment. Part of that assessment is that I am working on a blogging plan, read that as schedule, for 2015.

It seems to me that even though such a thing may sound kind of anal, and rigid. But I’m thinking it may be necessary. I have seen far too many blogs come and go. Blogs I have loved, just “poof” gone. I do not want to become another statistic of a blog that has disappeared before hitting the 3 year mark. (I think the majority seem to peeter out around a year and a half, but whatever.) I have also found myself floundering not sure what to right about any more. In the beginning I had so much stuff swirling around in my noggin, I figured I’d never run out of things to say. Apparently I was wrong. (GASP! that isn’t possible, I don’t do wrong! 😉 ) Anyways I’m thinking if I have some sort of schedule, where I post certain styles of posts on certain days that may help.

Worse that happens is I make a schedule and find I’m not sticking to it, then back to the drawing board I suppose.

On a different and yet related note I have made ZERO resolutions this year. And it feels good. As I said before I am using January as my own personal assessment month. I am thinking this year is a year for trying things out, testing waters, easing gradually into major changes. Instead of the usual fling myself at the mountain looming before me and then give up in dismay when I am overwhelmed by the enormisity of it! (Shhh enormisity is too a word, even if I did just make it up).

I am really wanting to develop some sort of routine in my life, read that as I want stability. I know, I know I have routine I go to work from 8:15 to 4:30 every Monday to Friday. Which means I get up at 7 am each morning and I tend to go to bed between 10 and 11 every Sunday to Thursday. Then I stay up way too late on Friday and Saturday and stay in bed until I’m darn good and ready to face the world, or I have to pee – which ever comes first. I tend to laz about on the weekends trying to ignore the evil shadow of Monday that lurks in dark corners tainting my personal private days that I have all sorts of aspirations for and in the end am just happy that I managed to do laundry and shower, and feed myself. Sigh. How utterly, dreadfully, predictably dull…

I want a different kind of routine. I don’t necessarily want mapped and predictable. I want stability, financial, emotional, spiritual stability. Life balance. Currently my life is working for money so I can pay bills and carry on with working to make money… you get the idea. I want room for fun! Like blogging, art, singing, going for walks, going out with my girls, spending time with friends, going out for dinner or a concert and not worrying that I just spent the hydro bill, you know doing stuff that feels like living and not just existing!!!

Like I said January is for assessment.


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Finding Freedom…

Hi everyone, I have not been around much lately, sorry. My personal home computer is still out of commission. It turns out that replacing a power button is more complicated than I thought. Also I haven’t been around much as of late to actually try to fix it.

I have been discovering the beauty of freedom. As I wrote a few months back I have had this horrible ‘fear’ of driving in places I have not been before or in areas that have a lot of traffic. Well I have been slowly getting over that. I still get uneasy and am not overly comfortable doing it, but my freedom is worth the pain. I have gone to Vancouver a few times, and traveled to Victoria this past weekend to visit with a good friend that I haven’t seen in years, and have known for close to forever. I am having a blast!! Next month I will be driving to West Vancouver and seeing Ed Sheeran live!!! 😀 I am so freaking excited it borders on stupid.

Growth always comes at a cost. In this case the cost is leaving my comfort zone and pushing past the fear and worry about all the what if’s. I will admit each time I go out I get lost. and it’s OK. I just pull over, breathe, look up my location on my phone and then adjust. NO BIG DEAL! Yet if I had contemplated getting lost just 6 months ago I’d have been on the verge of a panic attack (and that’s just thinking about it, not actually getting lost). I think I still have a long way to go, but I am happy with my progress.