myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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Running Virus…

It has been a long time since I have suffered from so-called ‘running virus’, but I can feel it itching away at the soles of my feet. Causing a restlessness in my legs, that seems to be buried in my very bones. This infectious virus has absolutely nothing to do with jogging, New Year’s resolutions to get healthy or lose weight, or running marathons… in fact it isn’t about that kind of running at all. Some of you may associate it with the term ‘travel bug’.

This ‘running virus’ has hit me full force! It is tickling my ears with whispers and promises of distant elsewheres. When it comes and invades my blood stream I tend to get a bit edgy. My heart rate can become elevated, my mind will tend to wander, holding thoughts is suddenly hard. I get wistful and poetic, and have a far away look in my eyes. I feel as if my very soul is on fire… and nothing can make the burning stop except breathing in hot, dusty, spice laden air from distant lands.

I often try to escape via books when I feel the virus coming on. But they can only carry me so far. The accents, and languages want to dance across my tongue not just echo in my mind. I long to be caressed by the wind, while singing foreign lullabies, and eating strange intoxicating foods. I want explore and experience things that I have only imagined. I want to get lost in adventure. No hindrance, no fear holding me back, no ties keeping me still. “Soon” I whisper to myself, “just a little longer, soon enough”.

I want a life full of “I can’t I believe I actually did that! wow!” instead “I wish I had done that… Sigh…”

When I was young and foolish I traveled around BC quite a bit and even visited the Yukon, mid winter. But this is not what my heart longs for. Now don’t get me wrong BC is beautiful territory and should any of you ever get the chance I recommend getting lost here for awhile. I confess it was some of the most breath taking scenery around. Mountains, wildlife, oceans, big cities, and vast areas of nothing but forest… it’s all here. But this is my home territory, and so it seems to be the far away places that I find myself dreaming of.

I am thinking that perhaps part of what has brought the virus on is re-establishing of my freedom via a car. Perhaps another contributing factor is that my one year anniversary in the townhouse I am in is coming up, or maybe it’s more due to the shift in weather, longer days, more sunshine  – I can feel spring once again around the corner. I can’t say for sure what is fueling this bout of running virus, but I am definitely burning up with it…


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Moving… I hate moving…

Moving…

I have moved more than most army brats could even imagine. I attended 7 different schools growing up, and have never lived in any one house for longer 3 years EVER, that’s right count them 1, 2, 3 years. And to boot I went and married someone who had what I call “itchy feet”. We moved almost annually. The grass was always greener somewhere we were not. So we would move, and of course the grass was not greener, we were still who we were and our troubles always followed us…

Needless to say I HATE moving. I cannot begin to explain how much I loathe the whole process of moving. Every little bit, the packing, the cleaning, dealing with utilities, keeping the house cleaner than usual for showing, the STRESS. However there is something to be said for moving on and starting a new phase in life, for getting rid of all the crap that accumulates. It is amazing how much junk you can collect in even as little as a year.

do you like my sign?

do you like my sign?

So guess what I am doing end of next month… come on guess… you don’t know? I am moving!!! OH Yay! My last move was a disaster. Nothing went as planned and because it was a big move – a long distance move for two families, mine and my eldest daughter’s – I was really hoping it would go as planned. It took three days to move – it would have been two days, but we missed our ferry, and then got lost and didn’t arrive at the new house until the wee hours of the morning and so we had to grab a hotel. This time it will be a much smaller, easier move, just a few blocks up the street.

Currently I share a house with my eldest daughter. We have been sharing for just over 1 ½ years. Her family lives in the basement suite while me and her two younger sisters live on the upper floor (currently my son is also with us, he has a mattress that goes in my living room – just please don’t ask).  We are cramped; the house is too small for so many people. We are stressed living in such tight quarters. And so we are all parting our ways. My eldest and her family are moving to Abbotsford (a 15 – 20 minute drive away). Her fiancé will be attending university there this coming fall. My son has to move out on his own or try to move back in with his dad, he is a young man now, 19 yrs old, and its time. It’s hard and sending one of your children out into the world is a difficult thing to do, but I know it will be good for him. In fact I know this move will be beneficial for all involved.

This house is cute...

This house is cute…

But it is still hard and I still hate moving. Perhaps I will feel differently about it when it is just me and my few belongings. Then maybe I can be a free spirit and travel staying for stints here and there… who knows that could be a lot of fun… or not. But for now I am limited by work and school as to where I shall live. I have 2 teenage girls to think about. Where I live – not just the house and the size of it, but also its locale – is important. One day those things won’t matter so much, and I will be able to live where I want in whatever I choose. But I am not there yet. (Besides who knows maybe by then it won’t be just me? But that is another train of thought and possibly another post for another time)

So for now, I am moving. Have I mentioned how much I HATE moving?

Maybe I'll just live in here and travel???

Maybe I’ll just live in here and travel???


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The Bucket List follow up…

Ok I am following up on my Bucket List post, I am not sure that this is really a complete list. Probably not even close. I am still figuring things out and think it may even change a few times between here and “the Bucket”. But here it goes… in no particular order – My Bucket List:

  • Follow my heart and my dreams: STOP pleasing others and be true to me
  • Help others regularly – the small things DO matter
  • Take some web design classes
  • Go to concerts!!! lots of them, all genres, just go and take the experiences in! See a real live opera
  • Start a collection: I’m not sure of what just yet, but I want it to represent places and experiences in my life. Maybe photos? IDK…
  • Take my girls on a real outdoors camping trip
  • Learn to use power tools without fear (OK maybe a small amount of respectful fear)
  • Restore a VW van – olive green and cream with shiny chrome, a light tan interior, and real wood accents.
  • Write and publish a book – it can be a novel, a book of short stories, poetry, or maybe a book of thoughts and musings…
  • Read the writings of Hugh Prather
  • Either finish or throw out my half done projects. (this is a big one it involves moving on and letting go)
  • Keep a complete journal for a full year (one that I write in at least a few days every week for the year – no three month plus gaps allowed)
  • Start a Blog! and maintain it… 🙂
  • Learn a new language – Turkish, I want to learn conversational Turkish to know why see next point
  • Teach English abroad – Go to Turkey for a summer to teach conversational English – I am thinking of going through TeachOverseas.org
  • Start using my camera, then maybe buy a better camera
  • Colour all 7 of the new full sized Doodle Art posters (if you were raised in the 70’s/80’s you should remember these posters)
  • Complete enough art for an art show
  • Hold an art show
  • Go horseback riding
  • Feel comfortable with myself naked
  • Spend 2 weeks alone (for real alone – I mean no kids, no family, just me and my thoughts – hhhmmm it just got scary)
  • Figure out what it is I love and start doing it for a living
  • Learn to really play an instrument guitar and/or piano, keep singing
  • Be in a band and record something – it doesn’t even have to be great, I just want to have a CD (I’d prefer if it was great)
  • Live in a foreign place for at least a year
  • Fall in love, have a real wedding and a Honeymoon
  • TRAVEL:  This list is a work in progress I really want to go just about everywhere and so….

Forks, Washington – for my girls
Disneyland California – with the kids
Scotland – a lochness finding expedition
Greece, Italy, the Mediterranean, Middle East, and Northern Africa
Maui – this has a story to it (I may share one day)
The Grand Canyon
Stonehenge

Abandoned places: Seattle’s underground city, NY subways, Petra, Inner city Detroit, Centralia Pennsylvania, etc. so many amazing places sitting empty and desolate…