musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


There is something wrong here…

What is wrong with people?

I saw this on FB this morning.

Basically some guy put 365 hand written love-notes in a mason jar for his girlfriend. The intention is for her to pick one each morning as a sweet and inspirational way to start the day. I think the sentiment is romantic and sweet. Who’s with me on that? I would be flattered by both the thought and the effort put into something like that.

OK now comes my problem… people are assholes. Especially women between about 35 and 55. Yes I went there and I said it. It seems that middle aged women are bunch of jilted, unromantic, hard-hearted bitches, with massive trust issues! Remember the old adage “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”? I made the mistake of reading some of the comments left on FB. It made me very sad and angry. A few men commented, but mostly it was women. And they were rude! (OOPs I am ranting here and so I’m not really saying anything nice myself… I think that may be called hypocrisy – but seriously I am so tired of seeing stuff like this all over the internet, there is a reason why 75%+ of the time I refuse to read comments on internet posts)

There are rude comments about how lame such a gesture is. Comments about how lame their man is “I’d have been happy just with my husband putting the loo seat back down”. Comments about the guy being a pussy “That guy needs some testicles for Christmas”. A lot of comments such as “I’d run!”, “BARF!”, “CREEPY!”. And if some-one dared say something nice or supportive, they got put in their place pretty quickly:

Comment: Anyone that thinks this is sickening or wimpy etc really needs to re-evaluate their relationships. This is a very sweet gesture and it comes right from his heart. How awesome is it when you’re having a bad day and you read a little note or quote from the person you love. It’s priceless really.

Reply: Any guy that has this much time on his hands needs to do some re-evaluating. Its needy and manipulative behavior.

How is it needy and manipulative? I mean I haven’t read the actually notes, so maybe it is needy and manipulative. But the idea is not. The idea is personal. The idea is one motivated by love and a desire to create happiness. It’s like having a 365 page book with your favourite quotes, lyrics and love notes, one page per day. Suddenly if you look at is as a published book about self-love & self-help it’s inspirational, motivating, maybe even a breath of fresh air. But as a hand made gesture of romantic love it’s apparently clingy, pukey, terrifying and manipulative…

I just do not get it. I cannot wrap my brain around the mistrust, fear and anger that this brought forth in so many people.

Women are constantly complaining that romance and chivalry are dead. That they want a nice, good, decent guy. And then something like this is shared and they go all ape shit about everything that is apparently wrong about it. No wonder guys don’t know what we want.

The funny thing about it is that most comments I read from guys were not negative (although some were), quite a few guys said they had done similar things to propose or for Valentine’s etc. just not as elaborate.

So maybe romance and chivalry are not dead, maybe the men who aspire to be such things have been beaten for their attempts and are no longer willing to put the effort forth for fear of the backlash? I don’t know. I just needed to vent…