myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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Coming together…

Just a quick update:

I feel like things are slowly… V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y… coming together. But coming together nonetheless.

I have recently tried my hand at transcribing as a means to make some pocket cash… I hate it for the most part, I am not very good at it – meaning I am slow which translates: “wow I think I made $3 an hour on that?!” but it pays weekly and I need the money…

I have also recently stumbled upon an opportunity for some freelancing. I am putting together a portfolio, and praying hard, as this is much more up my alley, and has the potential to actually be worth something. I’m kind of excited but trying not to get my hopes up too high as I am totally new to this experience. So we will see.


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Day 85 – Now what? some random thoughts…

So much going on, and yet so much of the same old, same old. Today my eldest is 24! I cannot get my brain around that. I still remember her as a chatty little 2 year old who never stopped making noise, if she wasn’t talking she was singing and dancing (or asleep). She used to run around flapping her arms screaming “fatty free! fatty free!” Translation: “Fly be free!”, as when she would overwhelm me with too many “why?” questions I would reply “fly be free little bird”. Man she was cute.

Now she is a strong vibrant young woman, a mother and a wife. She has her whole life in front of her and there is so much I want to tell her, yet I know she needs to learn much of it her on her own; have her own experiences, learn her own life lessons. She is capable and smart and her only limitations are those she puts on herself.

Hmmm what else? Oh yes I did not get to go clothes shopping on the weekend. But we did have a nice afternoon visit and birthday dinner for my sweet girl. And I am still excited for the play this coming Saturday. But anxious about the drive into Vancouver. Also I am contemplating going to Victoria to visit with a friend and to take 14 to the Royal BC Museum and Beacon Hill Park and maybe the Imax theatre. My only obstacle at the moment is finding the cash to do it. But 14 is going to visit the museum before this summer is over.

On another note my bestie came for a brief visit yesterday – we squeezed in a quick lunch – and is on her way back home. In roughly one months time she will be headed across Canada to relocate her family in Nova Scotia. This is bitter sweet. I am so happy for her and excited for the adventure ahead, and for all the opportunities that are waiting. Yet I am sad to see her go, and know that yesterday’s lunch may be the last time I see her for quite some time.

There are just so many opportunities out there and I am tired of being bored and wishing from afar to experience them. I am tired of money being such a freaking obstacle in my life. Paycheck to paycheck sucks, and it seems that on paper everything budgets fine, but in real life… well… not so much. I have to change my habits and start making things work. What are my excuses other than just that – excuses? And where do my excuses come from? They are rooted in both fear and laziness. I don’t want to be 70+ years old sitting around wishing “if only”. I want to be looking through photo albums (do people still have those?) with grand children and great grand children showing them all the cool places I’ve seen and telling them about the amazing places and people I’ve met and things that I’ve experienced. I want to be able to inspire them to go out into the big old world and achieve and do because of what I’ve done rather than because they see my sorrow and regret and decide they don’t want that for themselves.

scary yet exciting


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Day 16 – Adaptability…

Today was my Friday this week. As I have limited vacation days I have learned to use them wisely. I take advantage of long weekends and extend them getting the most bang for the least amount of used days. For example I have 6 glorious days in a row off yet only took 2 vacation days. Yay!!

Anyways I am so thankful today is my Friday as I had a very restless sleep lastnite and slept with my arm all twisted up underneath me. Today my am has been quite sore and I am fairly sure I may have pulled something. Have you ever slept ‘wrong’ and gotten a crick in your neck? This is very similar but it’s my elbow and forearm. I don’t recall doing things like this when I was younger and am hoping it is not a getting older thing. I am good at adapting though. Typing with one hand. Printing somewhat legibly with my left hand. Just making do with what is. I am however praying that after a good sleep it will be better tomorrow.

It’s funny how even though I am writing about my arm, I am actually thinking about life. Adaptability is how we survive – or don’t. Life is constantly placing obstacles in our paths and the only way to overcome them and move forward is by being adaptable. We must learn to go with the flow sometimes. Swimming against the current is exhausting. I am not talking about conforming to societal norms, or compromising our integrity and beliefs; but rather about knowing when to let go. Knowing when it is necessary to release beliefs and ideals that are no longer working. Knowing when to accept, or even embrace change. Accepting that somethings are beyond our control and that it’s OK.

Adaptability… it’s how the strong survive.

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