myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours


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A whole lot of random stuff….

So it has been a busy week, not really sure why, nothing special has happened it just seems to have flown by faster than usual and left me feeling a wee bit dizzy. At any rate I haven’t been totally on top of my blog reading, blog posting, or my emails. It has been stinking hot to top everything off, so cooking has pretty much stopped, cleaning – who cares anyways (OK I do when I look around and see the mess) but I am just too hot and tired to deal with it.

A lot has actually happened in the last few weeks of my life. My best friend decided fairly abruptly that she was moving back to the small town we are both from and in a matter of two short weeks she was packed and gone before the end of July. The move has nothing to do with our friendship – we are still besties, but it took a lot out of me…

Also I had applied for a job and was a shoe in! Yet somehow I didn’t get it – I apparently was the “second choice”… Second is the first loser! I even told them that… It was nice to be recognized and all, but… what else is there to say?

This has led me to be doing a lot of reassessing of priorities, ideas, life… What do I want to do/be when I grow up? Shit that means I have to grow up… I don’t wanna!!!! You can’t make me *folds arms and stomps foot*… But in all seriousness I am not where I want to be… so I am focusing on figuring out where do I want to be?…. and I am learning that knowing where I don’t want to be is NOT the same as knowing where I want to be… (Cuz that would be too easy!)…

On an entirely different note while growing up I was quite addicted to the PBS series ‘Mystery!’ hosted by Vincent Price, and later by Diana Brigg. This was mother and daughter time as we would curl up on the couch with our popcorn and watch Sherlock Holmes. We watched all of the old 1980’s ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ and ‘The Return of Sherlock Holmes’ starring Jeremy Brett, which were hosted on the Mystery! program.

 

 

Anyways I have discovered a newer TV series that I am greatly enjoying… The UK program ‘Sherlock’…  I must admit that although I was curious about the program I wasn’t expecting much and so I didn’t really bother to check it out. I wasn’t sure how they would pull off yet another Sherlock Holmes series and effectively set it in modern day London. The other day boredom got the better of me and I was pleasantly surprised. The first episode was simply brilliant! I can’t judge the rest of the series as of yet seeing as I have only watched the first two episodes (they are an hour and a half per episode and that is on Netflix so no commercials) and the second one will likely need to be re-watched as I only half paid attention… I had a long busy day yesterday and was watching with a very talkative teenager – but we had fun so it doesn’t really matter that I wasn’t really paying attention to the show…

Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes and David Burke as Dr. Watson - 1980's

Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes and David Burke as Dr. Watson – 1980’s

Today's Sherlock and Watson: Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman

Today’s Sherlock and Watson: Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have also just discovered while looking up then and now pictures of Sherlock Holmes for this post that there is a Sherlock Holmes Museum in London… at 221B Baker St!!! I am so going to go there one day! Adding to my Bucket List!!! (OK so my complete and utter dork-dom is now surfacing for all to see… and I just don’t care!)

As for a wee bit more randomness: I recently bought myself a professional quality Microphone and am now learning how to use some free recording software, I must admit I am having fun… eventually I will post something on here for you all to listen to but for now I will just tease you with this information. (Oooooh evil dork-dom…. mwahahahaha…. cough… choke… sputter…ha…ha…)

And I guess that is all for now…

 


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Change… it’s a coming…

I have had a hard time getting into the swing of things since the holidays. I had nearly two full weeks off, and getting back to schedule has been very hard. I am only just recently back to sleeping regularly. As for writing: I haven’t been blogging regularly and I haven’t been journaling regularly either. I feel a bit out of synch. It’s nothing in particular; it’s not sadness, or being too busy. I am, if anything, feeling listless. There is so much, too much going on around me and I can “feel” it in the air. That sounds so corny. But seriously I am feeling like there is major change coming. Everything around me feels restless. And in the midst of it I am having trouble focusing and getting settled.

I have big expectations for me and my family this year. I truly believe that major things are ahead – they may be down the road aways… like in the next few years. But I feel good about it. Change is kind of exciting. Why did I always fear it?

I know that we will be moving soon. My eldest daughter, and her family share the house we are renting – they have a suite downstairs; me and her 2 sisters are upstairs. But it is time to consider parting ways – we are both feeling it. No hard feelings it’s just time.

A part of me wants to just head across Canada and see where I end up. But I will have to wait on that as my 15 year old is just finishing her grade 10 year and is feeling stable here and I promised her that I would do whatever I can to ensure that she would do grades 11 & 12 at the same school (with the exception of situations beyond my control – of course). So it looks like I will be staying here in this town until at least July 2015.

OK so what I am trying to say? Good question. I’m saying I feel change in the air and in the midst of it I am feeling very out of synch with it. And so I am pushing forward while trying to not lose sight of my ‘bucket list’. I need to aim towards the goals and dreams I set down. Sometimes in the face of day-to-day it is easy to set our dreams aside. To forget them, label them as unrealistic or immature, and let them fade into the distance until they are no more. But then life becomes extremely dull, and tedious, even painful to endure. I must keep my eyes on my dreams, yet I must also allow for those dreams to change and evolve, as I make progress and grow.

I need to be loose enough to go with life’s flow, yet focused enough to keep my eyes on what I want. I need to keep pushing forward, not tossed about to and fro, but stable, without being rigid. Life is always changing, it’s so easy to get left behind, and not even know it until it’s too late.

Yea, change is coming and it’s a good thing….

KT Tunstall – Hold On (with lyrics)


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The Bucket List follow up…

Ok I am following up on my Bucket List post, I am not sure that this is really a complete list. Probably not even close. I am still figuring things out and think it may even change a few times between here and “the Bucket”. But here it goes… in no particular order – My Bucket List:

  • Follow my heart and my dreams: STOP pleasing others and be true to me
  • Help others regularly – the small things DO matter
  • Take some web design classes
  • Go to concerts!!! lots of them, all genres, just go and take the experiences in! See a real live opera
  • Start a collection: I’m not sure of what just yet, but I want it to represent places and experiences in my life. Maybe photos? IDK…
  • Take my girls on a real outdoors camping trip
  • Learn to use power tools without fear (OK maybe a small amount of respectful fear)
  • Restore a VW van – olive green and cream with shiny chrome, a light tan interior, and real wood accents.
  • Write and publish a book – it can be a novel, a book of short stories, poetry, or maybe a book of thoughts and musings…
  • Read the writings of Hugh Prather
  • Either finish or throw out my half done projects. (this is a big one it involves moving on and letting go)
  • Keep a complete journal for a full year (one that I write in at least a few days every week for the year – no three month plus gaps allowed)
  • Start a Blog! and maintain it… 🙂
  • Learn a new language – Turkish, I want to learn conversational Turkish to know why see next point
  • Teach English abroad – Go to Turkey for a summer to teach conversational English – I am thinking of going through TeachOverseas.org
  • Start using my camera, then maybe buy a better camera
  • Colour all 7 of the new full sized Doodle Art posters (if you were raised in the 70’s/80’s you should remember these posters)
  • Complete enough art for an art show
  • Hold an art show
  • Go horseback riding
  • Feel comfortable with myself naked
  • Spend 2 weeks alone (for real alone – I mean no kids, no family, just me and my thoughts – hhhmmm it just got scary)
  • Figure out what it is I love and start doing it for a living
  • Learn to really play an instrument guitar and/or piano, keep singing
  • Be in a band and record something – it doesn’t even have to be great, I just want to have a CD (I’d prefer if it was great)
  • Live in a foreign place for at least a year
  • Fall in love, have a real wedding and a Honeymoon
  • TRAVEL:  This list is a work in progress I really want to go just about everywhere and so….

Forks, Washington – for my girls
Disneyland California – with the kids
Scotland – a lochness finding expedition
Greece, Italy, the Mediterranean, Middle East, and Northern Africa
Maui – this has a story to it (I may share one day)
The Grand Canyon
Stonehenge

Abandoned places: Seattle’s underground city, NY subways, Petra, Inner city Detroit, Centralia Pennsylvania, etc. so many amazing places sitting empty and desolate…