musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

There is something wrong here…


What is wrong with people?

I saw this on FB this morning.

Basically some guy put 365 hand written love-notes in a mason jar for his girlfriend. The intention is for her to pick one each morning as a sweet and inspirational way to start the day. I think the sentiment is romantic and sweet. Who’s with me on that? I would be flattered by both the thought and the effort put into something like that.

OK now comes my problem… people are assholes. Especially women between about 35 and 55. Yes I went there and I said it. It seems that middle aged women are bunch of jilted, unromantic, hard-hearted bitches, with massive trust issues! Remember the old adage “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”? I made the mistake of reading some of the comments left on FB. It made me very sad and angry. A few men commented, but mostly it was women. And they were rude! (OOPs I am ranting here and so I’m not really saying anything nice myself… I think that may be called hypocrisy – but seriously I am so tired of seeing stuff like this all over the internet, there is a reason why 75%+ of the time I refuse to read comments on internet posts)

There are rude comments about how lame such a gesture is. Comments about how lame their man is “I’d have been happy just with my husband putting the loo seat back down”. Comments about the guy being a pussy “That guy needs some testicles for Christmas”. A lot of comments such as “I’d run!”, “BARF!”, “CREEPY!”. And if some-one dared say something nice or supportive, they got put in their place pretty quickly:

Comment: Anyone that thinks this is sickening or wimpy etc really needs to re-evaluate their relationships. This is a very sweet gesture and it comes right from his heart. How awesome is it when you’re having a bad day and you read a little note or quote from the person you love. It’s priceless really.

Reply: Any guy that has this much time on his hands needs to do some re-evaluating. Its needy and manipulative behavior.

How is it needy and manipulative? I mean I haven’t read the actually notes, so maybe it is needy and manipulative. But the idea is not. The idea is personal. The idea is one motivated by love and a desire to create happiness. It’s like having a 365 page book with your favourite quotes, lyrics and love notes, one page per day. Suddenly if you look at is as a published book about self-love & self-help it’s inspirational, motivating, maybe even a breath of fresh air. But as a hand made gesture of romantic love it’s apparently clingy, pukey, terrifying and manipulative…

I just do not get it. I cannot wrap my brain around the mistrust, fear and anger that this brought forth in so many people.

Women are constantly complaining that romance and chivalry are dead. That they want a nice, good, decent guy. And then something like this is shared and they go all ape shit about everything that is apparently wrong about it. No wonder guys don’t know what we want.

The funny thing about it is that most comments I read from guys were not negative (although some were), quite a few guys said they had done similar things to propose or for Valentine’s etc. just not as elaborate.

So maybe romance and chivalry are not dead, maybe the men who aspire to be such things have been beaten for their attempts and are no longer willing to put the effort forth for fear of the backlash? I don’t know. I just needed to vent…

Author: My Spoken Heart - Andrea Crowell

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

15 thoughts on “There is something wrong here…

  1. I wish I’d thought of something like that! I think it’s great. Would have been a cool thing to give my guy tonight (NYE)


  2. People who are critical of someone who does something nice have got serious problems in my view. Some of the ridiculous comments made by people on YouTube indicate that they are made by people who are jealous or envious of someone else’s accomplishment or their abilities.

    Bye the way, any time I listen to “Drops of Jupiter” by Train, it reminds me of you. It was a song that I liked very much, but only heard it a few times on the radio a long time ago. I never knew what the name of the song was or who sang it. After I “discovered” it on your blog I downloaded it.

    Most songs have an association to a time, place or person for me, and the only association I have for “Drops of Jupiter” is from your blog. So, it reminds me of you any time I listen to it now. Does that sound a wee bit sweet to you?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Unfortunately, women, regardless of age group, aren’t always pleasant to other women or kind, supportive, loyal girlfriends to the other girls in their lives. I have no idea why they deem other women as competition, but it’s especially sickening to someone who is a girl’s girl.

    It depends on the guy. It’s sweet if you’ve been together for more than an hour, obviously. Also, for anyone to presume he has “too much time on his hands” is ridiculous. Aren’t we always saying “It’s the thought that counts?” That took thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Women can be very catty. I have a few close female friends but in all honesty I have always gotten along better with guys. I guess it’s because I hate all the back biting and drama.

      And I agree it is the thought that counts and I’m sure it took a lot of thought and a good amount of effort too.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Some women, yes, but not all. I’ve had periods in my life where I had male friends solely and other times where it was a mix, and now I’m back to predominantly all female friends. I’m not a fan of drama, so I choose my friends carefully. I’d rather be direct with someone than be two-faced or a back stabber.

        I agree, that took a lot of thought and effort. Some women really appreciate those types of gestures. I know someone who said she likes to be affirmed by her boyfriend at all times because her ex-husband did not praise her accomplishments or anything she did, really. He stayed with her because she made good money and he liked their lifestyle. She now hears positivity instead of “You work too much.” and that’s what she needs in life. It’s 100% okay to ask for what you want and need in a relationship. Sweet gestures are sweet gestures, sometimes they make your day.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I saw it and thought it was romantic. In high school, I went on a choir trip, and my boyfriend at the time made me this book of notes, one per day, which I found incredibly sweet. I made one of those mason jar things for my mother when I was about 20 — each note was a memory. She said she liked it. I hope she wasn’t lying. She didn’t accuse me of being manipulative or needy, so that’s nice.

    Not too long ago, a friend of mine posted her gift, a diamond bauble, from her boyfriend, and it took less than five minutes for the bitter and jaded to show up announcing that it won’t be like that when they’ve been married awhile. :O People are pretty terrible sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well I started with an awww, lol. I am going to finish there too, except what happens if it is leap year? *gasps* one day with no attention, they will break up… oh nooooo.


    Don’t read comments, just go with your first urge to say awwww and then read something else.

    Liked by 1 person

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