musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Day 78 – Happy, Sad…


I feel overwhelmed today. Not in a bad way. I am happy and content in that I have people who love me in my life. I have a wonderful family and a precious new grand-daughter. I am not drowning in debt, I have good health, those I love have good health. I’m happy that there are people I can laugh with, even if they are far away. I am happy that I have a roof over my head, food in my cupboards, a paycheck every two weeks, a vehicle that gets me from A to B, and that things are going relatively smoothly right now. I am feeling good, losing weight, eating better than before – but still have my days. I am feeling more adventurous about things, looking at different opportunities, exploring my sexuality (learning to be a freer spirit and not so closed).


I have a hollow achy place in my heart. A spot where I terribly miss those who are absent. Not having my mother around to visit with, not being able to see the love in her eyes that she would have had for my kids, for the grand-kids. Having to wait to see my gentleman friend because our current schedules are not compatible. Not being able to have coffee and hugs with some of those that I love dearly because they are too far away, in a different city, out of province, out of country etc. And surprisingly Father’s Day actually hit me this year. Not having a dad – never having had a dad – it just feels so empty.

It’s strange how a human being can hold so much love, happiness, and at the same time so much empty sadness within them…



Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

2 thoughts on “Day 78 – Happy, Sad…

  1. It sounds like you’re in quite a bitter-sweet place at the moment. Hopefully your scheduling conflict will resolve itself, but I guess there’s not much that can be done about the rest.
    I’m very glad for the positives in your life, though!


    • Yes Alistair, bitter-sweet is the perfect terminology. but all is good. Some days emotions just show up – uninvited I might add. But I have a lot going in my favour, it’s just up to me to find it and focus on it. 🙂


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