A good friend of mine recently made some life decisions that truly upset me, and I felt hurt and angry, and then a quiet voice spoke to me. It told me this is her life. She did not ask for opinion only for your love and support. And I realized it wasn’t my business, it wasn’t my place to judge, and I was wrong not her. It’s her life, she needs to make her own choices and her own mistakes. All I am called to do is to love her and support her through it. No I told you so’s… no getting hurt and angry… no telling her all the reasons why it is is foolish in my eyes… just love and support.
Well this weekend I made some life decisions that not everyone understands. Primarily some of my family. But I have realized that I have to be able to let go sometimes and do things for myself even if my family doesn’t understand or objects. I am allowed to be happy. I am allowed to take time for myself. I am allowed to spend/devote some of my love to others, to outside sources, and especially to myself. And if my family can’t love me enough and get their attitudes out of the way so they can say; these are my choices and I am not asking for their opinion. If they can’t just be happy for me and support me. And if they can’t be available to love me without judgement when/if I fail, then it is a sad day and they need to fix priorities not me.
I spend far too much of my time worrying about them, molly-coddling them, depriving myself because it might upset them. So much time in fact that I have not been allowing myself to live. I am not talking about abandoning or neglecting children by any means. I am talking about giving myself time. I already know that it is unhealthy and the breeding ground for resentment. And I have walked away from that place. I have finally accepted that I have to make boundaries FOR REAL and that parts of my life are mine, my business, my choices and it’s not about them.
So here’s to learning to take some time for ourselves!