Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice…
Cypher Raige (Will Smith) ~ After Earth
I think this is one of the greatest, most acurate quotes regarding fear that I have have ever heard. It explains fear in a rational and realistic way. It doesn’t sugar coat it, and it doesn’t dismiss the truth about danger.
Lets face it some fears, most fears, are completely irrational. They are based on emotion. Some fears are not irrational they based on danger. Either way fear is still a choice. We do not have to face danger in a state of fear. In all truth to do so heightens the actual danger, as we do not think clearly or make good decisions when we are acting from the place of fear.
So why do we fear? Why do we worry and over think things? Why do we allow fear to immobilize us? Why is it that we can work ourselves up to the point of becoming physically sick. Why? Some people say it is foolishness to “just go with the flow”. But I am finding that life goes on regardless of if we roll with it or hide from it. So why not just go with it and see what happens? It seems that things always work out in the end one way or another. Perhaps some will think this view point is foolish, or careless. But really I think it is foolish to over prepare, to over think, to commit our time to worrying about things that will most likely never come to be.
I am not saying that considering the future and being prepared is foolish. What I am saying is when it consumes you and robs you of today, strips the joy from now, then it is foolish. We do not know what tomorrow holds. We do not even know if we will open our eyes tomorrow. So why spend one minute of today in fear about tomorrow, when it could be spent in contentment, joy, love and peace?
Do the people in your life know how much you care about them? Have you expressed your love? Have you taken the risk and done that one silly thing that you’ve always wanted to do? “Like what?” you ask – I don’t know maybe that urge to do karaoke? Or to dance to that son gon your ipod while at the park? Or to jump in the puddles when it’s raining? Or to tell that guy (or girl) just how amazing you think they are? you know those things you don’t do because you might look foolish? You might get brushed off? You could be rejected! These fears may or may not happen, but you will never know if you don’t try.
What about bigger risks? What about quitting your job? Going back to school even though your over 30, or 40, or 50? Or maybe walking away from that abusive relationship, marriage, friendship, family member, etc? What about selling your house, putting everything in storage and just going to that one place you have always longed to see, or doing that one thing you have secretly always wanted to do? What about telling your boss that idea that is burning a hole in you? Or telling your partner how you really feel about having kids, spending every holiday with their parents/family, having sex on a schedule, or whatever it is that you just need to say, but keep holding in because “what if”… it hurts them? makes them mad? causes a fight? you break up over it?
Oh so many What if’s!!!
Life is full of what if’s…
BUT what if, being open and honest makes your relationship with them better? What if you find out that they feel the same way you do but were too afraid to tell you? What if by selling everything and taking off you find that place of harmony in your life? What if your boss loves your idea and your career soars? What if after leaving the abusive relationship you start attending group therapy and meet your new best friend there? Or on the road to healing you meet the love of your life? Or maybe the person you walked away from realizes the pain they have caused you and they start going to counselling themselves? What if quitting your job and going back to school turns out to be the most amazing thing you have ever done and you end up happier than you thought possible with your new life?
See… you will never know either way if you hide in fear. Maybe the bad things you worried about will happen. Maybe, they could. But maybe things will go better than you could have ever hoped. You will never know living in fear. You will never know how it could be if you live your life never taking chances. Am I saying just do it? Yes and no. I am saying think about it. What are the fears holding you back? Are they realistic? Is what ever that thing you are afraid to do worth the chance if it pays off? Because if it is, then maybe it is worth swallowing your fear and taking the leap of faith.
You will never know if you don’t try, right?
So if your heart is telling you to do something, and the only thing holding you back is fear, then maybe it’s time to let go and do it?