myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Nano-NO-wrimo… and the commitment to stop taking on more than I can handle…

18 Comments

So I find myself staring at the calendar realizing it is November 1st and all I can think is “where has this year gone?” This past month I have survived the birthdays, with Canadian Thanksgiving wedged in between them, and Halloween. Of course there is still more to come, birthdays this month, and the ‘C’ word coming up in December. A co-worker really put it into perspective for me the other day when she mentioned off the cuff that we had just over 6 weeks till Christmas Holidays. I know she was just being nice and making small talk but I heard something more along the lines of “&# @!*’# $%&!!” just a long string of cussing. Christmas! really?!?! Wow! Excuse me while I stress puke into my garbage bin.

So back to November. This year I have decided that I will not be doing Nanowrimo, I had wanted to but I know I am not in the frame of mind for such an endeavour and I think that setting myself up for that kind of disappointment, you know that overwhelming and prevailing sense of defeat and failure that is inevitable because you decided all half-assed at the last minute to attempt something that needs an actual commitment, yea that, well it’s not beneficial or healthy and I just don’t need that kind of self abuse, thank-you very much. Anyways if I already know that I am not going toย  be able to fully commit to the project then I might as well just say NO. I am hoping that I will try it again next year though. I think that right now I have to get back to writing my blog on a more consistent level. And once I am back to a routine of sorts I will be feel like I am actually achieving something and perhaps that will make me feel just a wee bit happier. Because that feeling, the one of accomplishment, is one that is beneficial and healthy, it just kind of lifts you up.

Of course as I am writing this I get an email notification, from… duh, duh, duh – Nanowrimo!!! it’s OK though, I want to keep my account with them active so I don’t have to make a new one, I just thought the timing was ironic.

I think the point I am getting at here is that sometimes weย  – I – put way too much pressure on ourselves – myself – to do this or that, when we know we are not in the frame of mind, or have already got a way too crazy schedule, etc, to accomplish whatever this or that was, and then we beat ourselves up for failing. We need – I need – to learn to say no… even to ourselves, especially to ourselves. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Why do we choose to set ourselves up for the fall? Why is it easier to let ourselves down than to stand on what we know? I am not saying commit to nothing and that way you can’t fail – that to me is the ultimate failure. But what I am saying is stop biting off more than we can chew, and be realistic and truly committed to the things we choose to do. One well done completed project that we can be proud of sure beats 10 half-assed unfinished, resented projects that leave us wallowing in the mire of self pity. So start saying NO, unless of course we really want it and know we can and will commit to it and see it thru to the end. It’s called counting the cost. I think this is my new commitment to myself.

so let me leave with this thought today…

 

And now that you don’t have to be perfect,
you can be good.
John Steinbeck

perfect

 

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Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

18 thoughts on “Nano-NO-wrimo… and the commitment to stop taking on more than I can handle…

  1. Each weekend I used to make a list of things I want to get done , and I always ended up frustrated because the list was always too long. Today there are no more lists. I’m happy with whatever I manage to do. I follow my inspiration – if I lack motivation, whatever it is has to wait (I’m not talking about urgent or important stuff of course). Heila

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  2. I completely understand that niggling feeling that we are underachieving if we donโ€™t finish what we started. However, I think it takes a stronger person to realise that it is not helping our general wellbeing. Itโ€™s important we do whatever makes us feel comfortable. Be gentle with yourself, this time of year is difficult enough

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    • I think maybe we should declare “Be gentle with yourself” as the 2014 motto!?!?

      And yes this time of year is difficult, it’s hard on pretty much every level… emotional, financial, STRESS, spiritual… yea it’s hard. And I have noticed that it is hard on the kids too.

      “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” uh-huh, yea right… my arse it is… and to that I say “Bah-Humbug and God bless us, everyone!” cuz you never know maybe this year will be better?

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      • I used to hate this time of year. However, I am so isolated now that the festive time can be quite pleasant ON MY OWN!!!

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        • To be honest I do not hate Christmas, but I do hate the hype and the commercialism of it all. I hate having to pussy foot around some people and attempting to create a schedule that I know in the end will be ignored and my ex will just do whatever the hell he wants, it’s stressful. This year I have changed my strategy, the girls are old enough to decide how they want to divide up their holiday and I have told them to figure it out and tell their dad and make the plans, I will just go with whatever they decide.

          My childhood Christmases were actually quite good (at least that’s how I remember them – perhaps childhood has clouded reality?) We were actually quite poor and so it was about time together, homemade gifts, good food, etc…

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  3. Yup. So true – I really have to push myself this month. I’m not looking forward to it.

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    • Good luck! I am sure you can do it… just remember it is for you and the only person you are competing with is yourself. So if you don’t make 50,000 at least be satisfied knowing you gave it your all! and who knows maybe you’ll do better than 50,000???

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  4. All too true. Do things at your own pace when you feel it, don’t force yourself. Also, you can use a daily word count any time of year to get an idea of how far along you’re getting with anything. This is a difficult time of year for this, I do think it would be best scheduled at another time when people aren’t under holiday stress.

    You have been nominated for: http://andthemoonseesall.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/sunshine-award/

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    • Thanks you, for me right now it isn’t about word count it’s about finding time that isn’t forced to just write every day. And I am not seeing that right now. I mean I could force it, but I don’t want it that way.

      Also thank-you so very much for the nomination! I am flattered and honoured. I don’t actually do awards any more. But I do believe in saying “Thanks” as I greatly appreciate the gesture and certainly feel the love. ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • I’m totally with you on that because I am not someone who can force myself to write, or do anything really. It has to come naturally, or I simply won’t do it. Maybe you could try setting aside an hour to yourself three times a week to write, and just see what happens there. If you choose to make it more time or less, that’ll be your choice based on progress and how pleased you are with what you’re creating.

        It’s ok about the award. Just accept it and we’ll leave it at that. LOL.

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  5. This seems really wise. I have a few half-finished projects floating around in cyberspace. That is okay. I also have a few finished ones. It doesn’t really matter because I think we should try to do what we love, in a state of loving it, as often as we can, and trust in the schedule of our own heart. The world can really propel us into states where the doing takes on an altogether different motive- the motive of proving something or accomplishing something, of proving we are good or capable, with the opposite proof hanging in the balance. Such is not the motive of the heart, or the motive of the heart simply being and doing what it loves.

    Michael

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    • I have to confess I am the queen of half finished projects. I would love to have the time, energy and resources to complete/accomplish all the things I have started and wish to start. One step at a time, right? And ultimately I will never be satisfied with the results unless I am doing it out of pure enjoyment and a love for the project… which is hard to muster when you are feeling stressed and rushed. So I wait…

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  6. Exactly how I feel. I keep meaning to NaNoWrMo but I know for a fact it’s never going to happen this year. I don’t need a failure at that to upset me right now, so I’m not going to try.
    I know some people would call that a defeatist attitude but I’m just being realistic ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Exactly there is a defeatist attitude and then there is just accepting where you are at and the current limitations… So I am routing for next year and saying “oh well no biggie” about this year… ๐Ÿ™‚

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