I am sharing with you today a post from a fabulous blogger Dan Pearce, his blog is Single Dad Laughing, he is full of bang on insight and compassion. Today he posted about self worth. About parenting teenagers and how easy it is for us to damage them. Today I got slapped in the face, HARD!, and a piece of my heart broke. Crumbling to dust…
As many of you my readers know I have 4 kids. 2 which are still living at home. 2 of which are teenagers. As a lot of you also know my relationship with one of my beautiful daughters is hard. It is often strained and has moments of great difficulty. And after reading Dan’s post today I see that I play a much bigger part in the problem than I was accepting.
My daughter is smart, she is capable, she is beautiful. She is talented; at art, music, and drama, and she is funny. She can be compassionate and helpful. But she can also push my buttons and so often I tell her about the buttons, oh how I tell her about the buttons. But I also so often forget to tell her all the other wonderful stuff. I tell her I love her everyday. But I know from experience words have to be backed up with action. Words mean little when there are contradictions being presented. You need at least 100 “I love you’s” to make up for just one “you suck!”
Coming from a marriage where the tear down was routine, I am ashamed that I allow myself to get caught in that same behaviour. I am ashamed that I have a tongue that can lash out and tear down in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t matter what the other person said, or did, or didn’t do. I know better. I know how much it hurts. I know how hard it is to rebuild. It takes so much longer to rebuild than it does to tear down.
So my hope is to share this post with her as well as you. My hope is that maybe her and I can sit down together and piece by piece we can glue one another’s heart back together. It won’t happen right away. It will take time, it will take patience, and it will hurt sometimes. But I know she is worth it. And I am pretty sure I am too.
I hope that you all take the time to read the full post: even if you don’t have any kids, there is so much in there that can be applied. It can help you to see your own life a bit better too.
This one is truly from my spoken heart to yours…