musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Too FAT… Too Thin… really?? WTF???


This is my rant… I am so fed up with the too thin too fat wars going on, on FB /the internet. People are mean and cruel, and so damned judgmental it makes me sick and breaks my heart.

I have 3 daughters – all with different builds. 2 of them are model thin – both wear size 3 and under. They are willowy and tall (5’8”ish) – and yet they are still built differently. The other is shorter (5’5”ish), curvy and very busty – around a size 7 . She is in NO WAY fat or obese. And yet the way people go on about size from both sides of the spectrum makes me ill. My thinner daughters have been teased and called anorexic, bulimic, too thin, gross, unhealthy, need I go on? And the other has been called fat, and made to feel unattractive, cutesy terms like “chubby” or “pudgy” do not soften the blow… These words hurt and promote negative self image. Why is it that no-one is good enough?

New Swedish Mannequins

New Swedish Mannequins

I personally have been on both sides of this myself. Since my teens I have varied from a size 5 through to my current size 10, and have felt the sting of being called fat, chubby,etc. I have watched a movie and had the person I am with make a comment about some girl on the screen and how she is a “fat ass” and I consider my own build and think “wow! I must be a freaking elephant”.

I hear the way my own girls go on about other girls’ pictures on FB and my heart breaks. I think that we are what we are, and how did society become so judgmental? How did we become so cruel and unaccepting? How are we, both women and girls, to learn to love ourselves and accept our bodies when we are constantly putting each other, and ourselves down?

Recently there has been a large movement to embrace larger, full figured, and curvy bodies and to encourage so called plus size models (more realistically normal sized models). But even this is ugly because some of those who set out with this beautiful idea are now spewing horrible comments regarding those who are thin – size 5 and under. Leaving them no better than their counter parts.

Recently there has been some controversy regarding mannequins from Sweden that are actually built like REAL women in varying sizes. I say kudos, but then I read comments on them saying that they are promoting obesity!! Really? They would still be considered smaller than the average American.

I have no idea what the heck people – especially women – think the perfect build is but I am completely baffled and have come to the sad conclusion that point blank many of us females are just judgmental bitches. (I have even caught myself doing it!! OH for shame!). It is never going to change unless we women make the effort to change it….

And that is my rant!!!


Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

17 thoughts on “Too FAT… Too Thin… really?? WTF???

  1. Pingback: Saying Good-Bye to 2013… | myspokenheart

  2. The standard of beauty has always been impossible. For some reason people still think it’s possible to attain perfection. It’s time we start to love ourselves as we were naturally meant to be.


  3. Wow that mannequin is not obese, it has a flat stomach! Just wider hips, which is dun da dun… normal! Perfectly normal to have wide hips.
    I remember when I used to be thin, quite thin, and it was natural (now that I am older I have gotten bustier / curvier) and people used to always ask me how much I ate. “Aren’t you eating any more?? Why are you so thin?” Even my own mother thought I was annorexic and she used to watch me shovel chips into my mouth after school.

    It’s ridiculous. Healthy is the only thing we should be concerned about.


    • I so agree… I want to be healthy… I do want to change my body – but it’s not about my weight/the number on the scale… it’s about wanting to get back into shape and to be comfortable. To be able to feel comfy in my jeans all day and not feel like I have to put my yoga pants on as soon as I get home in order to relax…


  4. We can only be there to guide our babies – no matter what age.
    I will raise my hand and admit that with my girls, the eldest was on the heavy side most of her teens early adult-hood. I would make comments of ‘do you really think you should be eating that’ or ‘how about some exercise’ etc. As she approached her 20’s she did it on her own, she watched what she ate and exercised in fact she now quite the health nut and her figure a size 10-12 (we are different over here) is right for her bones structure and age. The youngest was the ‘rake’ always thin then as she got to her early 20’s she ‘blossomed’ to 85kg. Both girls are around 5’6 – 5’7. She went into the Navy and lost weight, now she is back living at home she herself decided she felt better about the way she looks. She does not diet and hardly does any exercise but maintains what she managed to keep off in the Navy for 7 weeks. Unfortunately, I did badger the girls occasionally and I regret it, I am fortunate that I didn’t push them to the other extreme. The pressure is there more so when they are young girls/teens from reading magazines, watching Tv etc. To be the perfect ‘you’ you must be slightly anorexic…what a load of cods! If only we didn’t have mirrors at times…the world would be a different place. Excellent Post – this is something that hopefully will change over time, when girls and young women of the world realise that their beauty is within. The magazines and media need to be accountable. Over here we are starting to have more ‘normal’ size women advertising lingerie etc…hopefully it is a start for women to stand up and say I am who I am…take it or leave it. Sorry for my rant, I enjoyed yours immensely. xx


  5. It is beyond frustrating trying to get your daughter to to not buy into all the advertisments and television blitzes on what is considered beautiful.

    And … it’s even more frustrating that I am likely a part of the problem. While I may talk to her and try to explain that what she is seeing is pretty unacheivable for 99.9% of the population, when I make a fuss about the way I might look or self critisize, how can it not rub off on her?

    I do try to make healthier meals and move and exericse … and I have pretty much not allowed any kind of beauty magazines EVER.

    But sometimes it feels like a battle … and she is now at the age where she is really starting to be concious of her looks.


    • yes I never realized just how vocal my negative self talk is until recently… my kids have heard every sigh, every negative comment… seem every time I sit and poke at my belly, or try to smooth out my stretch marks… I think it has been negative for my son as well – it affects how he sees females… and probably his own body…


  6. Hear hear! Very well said! So many women at work talk about the figures and going on a diet – and as far as I can see, there is nothing wrong with them! I hate the judgements, and I worry about the perception my little girl is going to have as she grows up thanks to the media and, as you say, social networking sites. It’s about time we hailed the Woman Within – the beauty in the soul. We are so hung up on physical looks – WHY?? Nothing will ever be good enough – happiness comes from within, not without.
    And that’s my rant! 🙂


    • yay for the woman we truly are deep down inside… it’s time to let her shine through… we need to get past our negative perceptions of ourselves… how can we expect a man to accept as we truly are and to love us unconditionally, if we can’t do it for ourselves??


  7. Across the board I am average. Average height(5’5), weight fluctuates especially if my depression dives, but it’s around 120-135(well winter is almost over, I’m going back to 120). Wear around a size 6. Chest is only non average area.. I’m built top heavy. Interesting, and some tell me I’m fat, others tell me I have an eating disorder. I was a ballerina until 13, I was told I needed to lose weight, at 13 mind you, and that my chest was getting to big, it was at a B by then. Way to make a girl feel good. Then by the end of high school I was told I looked like I was a poster child for eating disorders that I needed checked in at the local clinic. No, I just liked wearing loose fitting clothing and walked several miles every day, tends to keep metabolism up high. I hate being judged either fat or thin, so I don’t judge others unless there are health issues, and then I’m concerned. Not judging.
    Everyone is unique and made differently. It’s what I love, that no 2 people are identical, even if you are twins.


    • hey I was a ballerina till I was 14, took a 2 year break went back for 2 years and haven’t done it since… also top heavy… and exactly everyone is different… so why is it so hard for so many to accept that and be nice about it???


  8. amen sister!!! I agree 100% it’s a crazy world….


  9. Excellent rant! I agree!


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