myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Change… it’s a coming…

11 Comments

I have had a hard time getting into the swing of things since the holidays. I had nearly two full weeks off, and getting back to schedule has been very hard. I am only just recently back to sleeping regularly. As for writing: I haven’t been blogging regularly and I haven’t been journaling regularly either. I feel a bit out of synch. It’s nothing in particular; it’s not sadness, or being too busy. I am, if anything, feeling listless. There is so much, too much going on around me and I can “feel” it in the air. That sounds so corny. But seriously I am feeling like there is major change coming. Everything around me feels restless. And in the midst of it I am having trouble focusing and getting settled.

I have big expectations for me and my family this year. I truly believe that major things are ahead – they may be down the road aways… like in the next few years. But I feel good about it. Change is kind of exciting. Why did I always fear it?

I know that we will be moving soon. My eldest daughter, and her family share the house we are renting – they have a suite downstairs; me and her 2 sisters are upstairs. But it is time to consider parting ways – we are both feeling it. No hard feelings it’s just time.

A part of me wants to just head across Canada and see where I end up. But I will have to wait on that as my 15 year old is just finishing her grade 10 year and is feeling stable here and I promised her that I would do whatever I can to ensure that she would do grades 11 & 12 at the same school (with the exception of situations beyond my control – of course). So it looks like I will be staying here in this town until at least July 2015.

OK so what I am trying to say? Good question. I’m saying I feel change in the air and in the midst of it I am feeling very out of synch with it. And so I am pushing forward while trying to not lose sight of my ‘bucket list’. I need to aim towards the goals and dreams I set down. Sometimes in the face of day-to-day it is easy to set our dreams aside. To forget them, label them as unrealistic or immature, and let them fade into the distance until they are no more. But then life becomes extremely dull, and tedious, even painful to endure. I must keep my eyes on my dreams, yet I must also allow for those dreams to change and evolve, as I make progress and grow.

I need to be loose enough to go with life’s flow, yet focused enough to keep my eyes on what I want. I need to keep pushing forward, not tossed about to and fro, but stable, without being rigid. Life is always changing, it’s so easy to get left behind, and not even know it until it’s too late.

Yea, change is coming and it’s a good thing….

KT Tunstall – Hold On (with lyrics)

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Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

11 thoughts on “Change… it’s a coming…

  1. agreed – it is what it is 🙂

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  2. You are so right – we often go to the bad in change, and we also make-believe that everything would have been roses if not for *whichever bad thing we didn’t want*.
    No matter what the truth, we have what we have and can only work with what is – not what may or could have.
    I’m probably going to sound patronising – but you come across as very together and realistic and I think you’ll find the gain in whatever change comes. I have faith in you anyway 🙂

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  3. Change is always fearful..but for why? Because you inwardly don’t want that change or you are apprehensive about something different? The initial anxiety one feels when change occurs will dissipate once you have resigned yourself to it and settled. My big change was when my eldest daughter left home, I couldn’t cope at all, it took me sometime to come to grips with it and then the light bulb went off and I realised it was time for her to move on, create her new life without me. There will be doubt, but you shouldn’t let that stop you creating new memories and a new life where ever you end up. You fear because you are ‘use’ to having things in a way that you are comfortable and by changing – that will rock your boat. Trust in your feelings, know that life must change to move forward, above all please relax and do go with the flow, you may find it’s not as difficult as you are imagining. 🙂 xxx

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    • AAaaahhh mum, I don’t fear change… not any more; but I used to. I believe it is because change brings the unknown with it… but I have learned the unknown is very often beautiful… its silly but when left to speculate about the unknown – which can be good or bad – we often tend to go straight to all the bad that can happen, and yet the bad is rarely what happens. But change is also about growth and growing for some reason tends to be painful… for example it hurts to have our pride dashed, and yet that is the only way for us to grow beyond our pride and to let it go. 🙂 xoxox

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  4. I agree with you about change … many times we fear it. Sometimes I think it is an exciting thing. To be looked forward to with giddy nervousness … but the nervousness that makes you excited.

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  5. kk, if you could move anywhere, limiting it to our Country. 🙂 and with the stipulation that money, family or any other consideration would not be relevant, it would be only based on what you wanted or wished. Where would you move to? .

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