…so I have sat here in front of my computer staring at the screen and the keys on the keyboard for going on to an hour – maybe more – drawing a complete blank.
I sat down with the intent to write. I had ideas, good ideas. And they are gone. They have evaporated like mist and disappeared into the atmosphere. For the life of me I cannot recall anything that I had wanted to say. This was supposed to be inspirational, helpful, uplifting, maybe even life changing! And instead I got nothing. I must apologize to all my faithful and amazing followers who must surely be feeling let down by my lack of inspiration here. I am sorry to have left you brokenhearted and down trodden. OK so I am sure no-one really feels that let down. But I am having fun allowing myself to believe that such a thing could be even remotely true.
As of late I have come to the conclusion that it is probably better for me to write something no matter how small, than to not write anything at all. It seems that there has been a recent down time for many of my fellow bloggers. Perhaps it is due to the season change. Fall is now upon those of us living in the northern hemisphere. The days are shorter, the sky is grayer, it is wetter, darker. Holidays are coming soon, and despite what they say in songs and movies it is not necessarily “the most wonderful time of the year” for everyone. Christmas does not make bad marriages go away. It does not magically fill the stockings and put presents under the tree if you are unemployed or underemployed. It does not bring people who have been lost back into people’s lives. The lonely do not suddenly feel bright and happy and accepted, just because of the time of year. For some these things weigh heavy. They can bring us down; however it is up to us how we choose to deal with it. It is our decision if we choose to let it get us down. We have to choose whether we allow things to overcome us, or if we overcome the things.
I am not really sure what my point is here. I am not confident of the direction this headed in or what it is I am really trying to say. I just know that I have felt a sadness in a few of the blogs I read that perhaps wasn’t there before. I have noticed that some have gone through a patch of not writing for a week or two recently. And I know that I too have struggled with it. Yet I also know that this is where I belong, just as it is where they belong, and I am doing something that matters to me. I have found one the pieces for my life’s puzzle. And so I will write, even if I have to push myself. I will write even if I feel it may not make sense or say what I think it should. If I can get past this and learn even a shred of discipline then perhaps I can do it with other things in my life too.
and I think that’s all I got for now…