myspokenheart

musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

The blank screen…

23 Comments

…so I have sat here in front of my computer staring at the screen and the keys on the keyboard for going on to an hour – maybe more – drawing a complete blank.

I sat down with the intent to write. I had ideas, good ideas. And they are gone. They have evaporated like mist and disappeared into the atmosphere. For the life of me I cannot recall anything that I had wanted to say. This was supposed to be inspirational, helpful, uplifting, maybe even life changing! And instead I got nothing. I must apologize to all my faithful and amazing followers who must surely be feeling let down by my lack of inspiration here. I am sorry to have left you brokenhearted and down trodden. OK so I am sure no-one really feels that let down. But I am having fun allowing myself to believe that such a thing could be even remotely true.

As of late I have come to the conclusion that it is probably better for me to write something no matter how small, than to not write anything at all. It seems that there has been a recent down time for many of my fellow bloggers. Perhaps it is due to the season change. Fall is now upon those of us living in the northern hemisphere. The days are shorter, the sky is grayer,Β  it is wetter, darker. Holidays are coming soon, and despite what they say in songs and movies it is not necessarily “the most wonderful time of the year” for everyone. Christmas does not make bad marriages go away. It does not magically fill the stockings and put presents under the tree if you are unemployed or underemployed. It does not bring people who have been lost back into people’s lives. The lonely do not suddenly feel bright and happy and accepted, just because of the time of year. For some these things weigh heavy. They can bring us down; however it is up to us how we choose to deal with it. It is our decision if we choose to let it get us down. We have to choose whether we allow things to overcome us, or if we overcome the things.

I am not really sure what my point is here. I am not confident of the direction this headed in or what it is I am really trying to say. I just know that I have felt a sadness in a few of the blogs I read that perhaps wasn’t there before. I have noticed that some have gone through a patch of not writing for a week or two recently. And I know that I too have struggled with it. Yet I also know that this is where I belong, just as it is where they belong, and I am doing something that matters to me. I have found one the pieces for my life’s puzzle. And so I will write, even if I have to push myself. I will write even if I feel it may not make sense or say what I think it should. If I can get past this and learn even a shred of discipline then perhaps I can do it with other things in my life too.

and I think that’s all I got for now…

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Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

23 thoughts on “The blank screen…

  1. I really enjoyed reading this. You have gone through a non writing phase and this is perfectly fine. I don’t want to turn this back to me but I have to – my posts are rambling to say the least, I write sometimes when my mind has drawn a blank and when I do it usually is complete dribble. However I must write and that is why we do this.. no? Our enjoyment comes from it. You began not knowing what to say or write but through your post your words lightened and you made an actual post from it. Put the music on – it may inspire – but from what I have read of your posts you have so much inspiration and so much to give and I thank you for letting me enjoy the read.

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  2. lol– yer- yer – er ar aere your brian- brainz not blank for sure Lol You are a great writer,

    I have somethin I want to share with you i wish I knew your name I like using name its much more respectful

    I think this video will blow you away πŸ™‚ I hope you love it as much as I do / Hu

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    • I have seen this skit (and several versions of it) before, it is very moving…

      I also have to state that Lifehouse is actually one of my all time favourite bands… this song in particular is on my top 10 list by them…

      And again Thanx…

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  3. I like how the nothingness turned into an engaging post about a number of lovely, simple observations you made. πŸ™‚ I was just speaking with a friend about my last post and how I wanted to write and yet I knew not what it would be; she rightly stated that often, that is the best way to write…

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  4. Childhood Christmases were horrid. Later I worked in supported housing for young people separated from family and Christmas was the worst time – when they felt their isolation most strongly. We spent two weeks on suicide watch each December. It gives you perspective.
    It took having kids to rescue Christmas for me, and, finances aside, I now look forward to it more. I’m glad you highlight that it’s hard for some. I know the housing project is still going, and that this season will be hard for those living there, and others.
    Just to try and brighten this rather dour post – we always made Christmas as special as we could at the project, and often got donations to help. The generosity of others and the difference we made for those living with us were a real experience of what Christmas should be – giving, caring and looking out for others – not just getting a new playstation. We had some inspiring and lovely times.

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    • I had to take my time responding to this… but you have perfectly encapsulated the point… I hate how we, society, have allowed Hollywood, etc to dictate to the masses what holidays (especially Christmas) should look like, because they have driven a false, unrealistic and actually harmful picture… why can’t they be realistic (not morbid or depressing but realistic) they don’t have to explain to the child why ‘Santa’ didn’t come, or there is no Christmas dinner, or why they didn’t wake-up to a perfect life on Christmas morning, or there isn’t peace on earth, or in the case of other holidays why their ‘sweet sixteen’ was the same as every other birthday, or they weren’t invited to the Halloween bash etc… and even when we try to embrace Hollywood’s version of these wondrous times they never turn out as we intend…
      Am I saying holidays are awful and should not be celebrated of course not – I actually believe holidays/special occasions can be beautiful… but we need to break free from society’s chains and create our own traditions. My kids’ B-days are in Oct and Nov I had to ask them which do you prefer a big deal B-day or Christmas? I can’t do both… so we do the big thing for their B-days and have a low key Christmas… but I have seen how hard it affects those who were brought up with the big deal holidays and then as adults can’t maintain it… it is heartbreaking to watch…
      Life is beautiful if we break free and allow it to be, but it is hard… funny how hardship and beauty often walk hand in hand!

      Wow didn’t mean to write an essay!
      oh and I have to add… my idea of big deal is still extremely low key compared to what a lot of people seem to do nowadays… I am shocked actually…

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      • And you had nothing to say!! πŸ˜†
        It’s true. It’s not about killing holidays, it’s about escaping money. Hollywood sell the image, the clue is in the phrase. The merchandising, product placement and endorsement – we are sold christmas in this way so that we spend money.
        Can we reclaim heartfelt holidays? I hope so – there’s a good brand name right there anyway!! Heartfelt Holidays! πŸ˜€

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  5. Sometimes, I have nothing to say either. Rambles are good. Just write something. Stick with it Andrea. I love coming to your blog and reading your posts no matter what they say. Sorry I haven’t been around much with the meds thing and all. But please, even when your mind is blank, hell – just write about that like you just did. Much ❀ as always. (Also, I am never disappointed when I come here)

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  6. what you wrote is gorgeous, I love your blog,
    P.S you should also look at my blog? thank you very much if you do.

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  7. tis easy to say.. I have nothing to say, and it is true, often there is nothing to say. A short post then, just some ramblings…. letting it go with no preconceived idea what you are going to say.. are often very interesting blogs. They grow into something cohesive. Sometimes you go back and edit, as that idea takes form… root, deleting the first few paragraphs, or editing them a bit.

    Christmas is hard for many, you see those happy Christmas shows, pretty bows and smiling faces… but the season offers many pressures, financial, what to buy, what to buy is bad for many. Lots of unhappy pressure that ruins the holiday, You want to get that oh so special gift.

    know what? change that. Make Christmas a family time. Hugs and smiles, Good meals, fun times. Doing something together, Friends. Exchange token gifts, home preserves, cookies and treats.

    Oh not for kids, but for siblings, older children.. Take the pressure off everyone, make it fun again.

    *hugs*

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    • thankfully I grew up in a home where just being together, homemade gifts, and dinner was what Christmas was about… and I have good kids… it definitely takes a lot of the pressure off… but for so many people that just isn’t the case…

      and the weird thing I really did have some rockin’ ideas in my head, til I sat at the computer… then it was like watching the static channel on TV… nothing! yet I still managed roughly 500 words… hhhmmmm

      *hugs n smiles*

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  8. *just leaves you a HUGE hug*

    What April and Jean said….nod nods. But being me…I will gab a little more too.

    Thinks maybe several things are going on … those you follow…that have slipped off a bit … have they started blogs about the time you did? within a few months of you? I have a theory…albeit an unproven one and one that I am making up on the fly as I type this. I am thinking…those of use how started blogs about the same time are all going through a period of writing lifeness (yes…I made that word up *s*) … where at first we blogged every day ….we are now starting to realize that we need only blog when we wish? And then life takes over…and we miss not just a day..but a few days … then maybe even a week. Then we realize .. oh….I miss putting my thoughts to paper (computer) … and I miss my friends…and we post a blog.

    And …going further…maybe we then get to the point where we settle in and blog regularly …not every day still…but the spottiness disappears? That is my corallary to my original made-up theory. Nod nods. Feel free to agree and throw me a party celebrating my amazing insight! Or also, feel free to just look at me like I am whacko….*smiles*

    Now…as to the sadness part … *hugs you* …and .*does a little dance for you* …not a nice lovely dance…but…..*BREAK DANCES* …oh yeahhhh bayyybbeeee.

    *break-it-down* ….woopa woopa …. can’t touch this ….woopa woopa.

    errr…that is kinda old yes? Changes dance ..

    *hops and starts making believe I am riding a horse and making lasso twirlys with my hand*…

    *starts to yell* …”gangnam style…..gangnam style”

    Heh …ok, so those kind of dancing I have no idea about lol. But what I can do…is close my eyes and think really hard…..of good thoughts for you…and as soon as I hit the “Post Comment” button I will….for real nod nods. *smiles* ….and you try your best to have a wonderful day ok. *final hugs*…well…not final as in the last one ever…but final as in the last one of this blog…even though I was lying because….*huuggg again*

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    • well my Dear what do I say? this is a lot of thoughts… you may be on to something regarding the whole missing blog thing, but I have noticed that many have written that they feel sad or depressed as of late… I maintain its the time of year but I think also we do start out all gung-ho and full of ideas and after a few months we begin to peeter out a bit… like the novelty has worn off, it isn’t all shiny and new anymore… sometimes it actually feels a wee bit like work – gasp!!!

      “gangnam style!!!” dance… dance… dance… (or not)

      (((HUGZZZ))) for you

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      • tis the time of year, the leaves are falling from the trees, they become stark and lonely looking.. the daylight shortens with each sunset, we are creatures of the sun, vitamin D everyone, I am serious… no I mean right now, take some or write it down to get some… don’t make me nag πŸ˜‰

        The holidays approach, advertisements nag you.. buy this buy that.. but holidays are sad for so many. They need to be like they were long ago, happy, family based. visits.. hugs. not gifts. and I wants.

        So we think of happy things. things we can do in the spring.. summer… plan gardens, tiny things, maybe start cycling, walking. paddling on a lake… water fights.. A tiny flower garden on a balcony. Research on the internet, what flowers grow well in your area, see which ones look nice.. a nice winter hobby to keep us busy, taking pictures of snow flakes.. icicles, drizzling food colour on them and taking fantastic pictures… anything that makes us grin.

        πŸ™‚

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  9. And sometimes all you got is enough! Eh . . . January through March is my rough time of year. Not looking forward to it, but every year I find one more way to do it. Deep breaths, shall we . . . .?

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    • Sometimes all we got is so much more than we thought! and in….. out… aaahhhh nothing like breathing to help focus…

      Hard never means impossible unless we let it… we all have those times/seasons that are hard to get through, but we do just that don’t we, we get through!! πŸ™‚

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  10. you my friend are awesome! Im so glad you write even when you think there’s nothing to write about…because in your blogs there is always some ray of light, some insiration… you are right where you are suppose to be…working through the thick mud that tries to trap those that stop and feel hopless….you are pushing through….we all have to push through, and you are spot on…it’s a choice! loveeee you!!!

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