musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Sunshiny optimism and the day of doom….


Tomorrow I get the pleasure of going to the dentist, or should I say “Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist”. I get to experience the joy of receiving a couple of fillings. I also will be delivered the news of whether or not I get to endure a root canal. Needless to say I am filled with apprehension. I had not been to the dentist in many years due to a lack of dental insurance, and now that I have said insurance I am getting things taken care of – things that I was actually quite happy to ignore. Ignorance is bliss you know.

Sadly I have to put on my brave face as my youngest is also going in for a filling – her first filling. I can’t very well expect her to be brave and courageous in the face of unknown, never before experienced pain, if I myself am a cowering mess. (But who is gonna hold my hand and say “there, there”? – Sometimes being a mom is rough)

The worst thing about tomorrow is that the dentist isn’t even the part I’m freaking out over! Once I am done with the dentist I do not get to go home to relax, instead I get to head out for a meeting with a Trustee. There we get look at my horrible state of financial deficiency. The way I see it, it will be the financial equivalent to a full physical. I can hardly wait. Just like at an actual physical I will get to strip bare and in all my humility be scrutinized, by a complete stranger. It doesn’t get much more humiliating and intimate than that I’m afraid. And I am pretty sure when it’s all done the trustee is going to want to set up a follow up appointment and request payment, in actual money, which I have none of, hence the reason for the visit to them in the first place. At least the dentist gives you a nice new toothbrush and a package of floss.

These are the joys of being a grown up. Being brave in the face of uncertainty, and manning-up when we make a mess of things because there is no-one else to clean it up.  I have discovered that pretending a problem isn’t there does not make it go away! (I have been dragging my feet for over a year trying to bury my head in the sand on this one.)

Also in typical ‘Me’ fashion I have left everything to the very last minute.  I know better, yet I do it every single time. It really is a useless, silly routine. But it seems to be the way I function. I know it would be easier to pre-organize, probably less stressful too, yet I leave it, I keep putting it off until the last possible moment. But I suppose everything in its time, right?

I am definitely feeling the stress of tomorrow. Just breathe… (in… out… in… and out) that’s what I would say to my friends. I would say, “You can’t change it. So why fret over it, just let it go. Do what needs to be done and know that it will all be better in the long run. Everything has a way of working out, it always has, and it always will.” I really do believe that, so why oh why, do I let myself get so worked up over things? It’s not like I enjoy working myself into a frenzy, and then I have to talk myself down. Another one of my silly routines, I’m afraid.

Ok so enough about all of that…  I will go home after work, get my paperwork together, have some dinner, and maybe a cup of tea. Get me and my girls to bed for a goodnite’s sleep. Then I will face the day with a sickening degree of sunshiny optimism, knowing that it really will all work out.



Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

20 thoughts on “Sunshiny optimism and the day of doom….

  1. Hope the dentist went well for you. I was worried because you said you were going to ‘man up’ – and I feared you were going to – 1. Get drunk, 2. Hit your dentist or 3. Bomb someone (I mean anyone, just to get the tension out!) – as these are very ‘man’ things.
    If all is well you ‘womaned’ up instead and showed courage despite your nervous trembly bits. 🙂


  2. Please be sure to eat a poppyseed bagel and a sleeve of oreo’s right before you walk in. You know, really get your money’s worth.


    • oooooo that is funny…. (yet gross – I hate having dirty teeth or anything stuck in them – I may actually border on neurotic in this area)

      I don’t know how anyone could want to be a dentist… I suppose they console themselves with all their money…



  3. Andrea,

    I am thinking calming thoughts for you tonight … and will tomorrow too.

    Do what Amber said about saying you are scared…it’s like telling the airlines that you are a fearful flyer .. they coddle you a bit. (No, I do not say I am a fearful flyer … but I do let them know that my daughter is a bit afraid of the dentist..her da’s fault..he is scairt so now she is scairt…arggh.)

    If you are not afraid of getting shots … the trick I use is to tell them the novocain is not working .. and they shoot more in to me! (I mean seriously…if you have to get the first shot…that is the one that might be a little owie…not a lot though ok…only a little. *hugs you* But after that one … your mouth is numb…so following shots won’t hurt … so get another one so you KNOW when they are cleaning your teeth or cavities or if you have to get the root canal that it will surely not hurt.)

    As for the financial portion…I wish you luck..and yes…maybe once it is over and done with you will not have to think of it again.

    I hope things go well for you tomorrow..I really do…*closes my eyes and things super good thoughts for you*….oh…and notices I did not make typos as my eyes were closed!


    • the only part that freaks me out about the dentist is the shot… the rest is easy peasy… ok that’s not true I ate the noise of the drill it is high pitched and squealy… it’s kind of like nails on a chaulk board… but I am big and brave and courageous – so I will wear my big girl panties and look that dentist right in the eye and say “lets getter done”….

      lol… or not…

      thanks for all the lovey super good thoughts 🙂

      ps awesome typing skills Katie-O


      • Maybe they will have those earphones that some dentists have that you can listen to music so you can’t hear the drill nod nods.

        And … big gril panties?!?! I am thinking one of two things..

        1) they are sexy thong ones … in which case, if Mr. Dentists knows you have them on he will be distracted and you may as well giggle and ahve more cavities to drill! Ack!


        2) they are grannie undies and …uhmmm…and …feck …THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT … and *stomps off in a fit of indignation* … (but they are comfy 🙂 )


  4. Lots going on for you honey…but you have the right attitude! Just breathe and do what you can.
    Everything will work out and soon all this stress will be lifted off your shoulders ❤ love you! and yay for dental coverage!!!


    • yay for dental coverage!!! yes it will all work out… just keep breathing – NO HOLDING OF THE BREATH!!!

      ❤ love you too sunshine 🙂


  5. awww, a double whammy day. Often the worst thing with a dentist is the part at the end, when the smiling girl books your next appt and cheerfully tells you how much you are going to pay…. So if you have coverage now, that worst part is all gone.

    I am going to tell you a secret, you tell the dentist, or the person that preps you before care starts that you are very nervous. I am serious. To the point, you are actually a bit scared. So what does this do? You get a much better care, they really watch over you, are more careful to not cause any discomfort in any way. And ( I can’t believe how many times I am starting sentences with and lately) if you moan once.. or yell out OMG.. the shock on their faces will really cheer you up. 🙂 (pssst think about that, you will fall asleep tonight giggling)

    Financial troubles are harder tiny moans don’t do much, the people that offer help.. as you said, have their hand out. Hopefully a plan will be put in place so you can buy lots of lottery tickets.

    Stress is funny, reason and self explanation has no effect on it. It is deaf.

    It will be better in the long run though.

    OMG you get floss?

    Breath through your nose, it is more calming. deep slow breaths. concentrate on that.Then practice your moans for the dentist… and your giggles.. oh but don’t giggle in the chair.. hmmm or wait… some uncontrolled giggles could really be fun.



    • YES I get floss!! and my dental package covers most of it so I can handle a minor payment… maybe…

      I noticed that about stress… its like I know all the right things for other people and then for myself it all goes out the window… :/


      Well the financial thing will be good to have over and done with… I can’t wait actually – yet am still very nervous and all stressy over it… but you know we gotta roll with the punches (kinda corny but true)…


      you know I will end up giggling at the dentist now…


      • lol, probably, but I am serious. If you tell them you have a fear of dentists, you get a much better care, Pssst, its a secret, so don’t tell anyone.

        oh oh oh, tell the financial person, you have a fear of money, so you just keep getting rid of it, sorry none left.. and smile cheerfully like you are proud you managed it. 😉


    • Feck! Amber….I actually started to giggle when I read the part about yellng out OMG lol. lord…that would be so funny to see that.

      But … likes your advice to Andrea nod nods.


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