musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Finding Failure…


Now, why talk about failure? Because failure is a funny thing—it can motivate us to do better or discourage us all together. But we should think big. Failing at a step isn’t failing to get to the destination. Learn to take your blows with grace. Don’t let them define you. Remain focused and make sure you believe you can do it.

~ Anastasia Koutalianos

Failure… what exactly is it? Why are we afraid of it? Why do we allow our experiences with it to define who we are as individuals? When I think about fear, failure comes up as being one of the top three*, which are: the fear of failure, the fear of rejection and the fear of public speaking. The funny thing is both the fear of rejection and public speaking relate back to the fear of failure. You can only be rejected if you failed to be accepted. And the only way a public speech would be as bad as we fear it to be is if we get up there and make a total fool of ourselves therefore being… a failure.

If you type “define failure” into Google the first thing that comes up is:

1.    Lack of success.
2.    An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing.
failing – fault – fiasco – breakdown – bankruptcy

But why is failure considered negative? Why is it considered the opposite of success? Is it not the means by which we grow, and achieve/find success? Without failure we cannot understand accomplishment. Failure is probably the greatest building block to success, it paves the road. We can say with each failure, “now I know what not to do”. Perhaps failure isn’t the problem at all but rather our perception of it, and the fear that perception seems to instill.

Oddly enough most successful people embrace failure. They view it as the important learning tool that it is. Interestingly, if you go to and do a search on failure quotes you will find that most of the quotes are actually very positive. (I know you are thinking to yourself “really positive quotes about failure?”) But this makes me wonder why we fear failure so much. Why is it that our minds seem to play out the worst case scenario and then use it as an excuse not to try? Is that not the worst case scenario? The lack of trying; now therein lies the greatest failure of them all.

*This list bears no statistical significance but rather is referring to the three big life fears that immediately pop into my head (that is as long as we are excluding spiders).


Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

14 thoughts on “Finding Failure…

  1. failure is a learning lesson, some harder than others, true. How you look upon it though is how you will benefit from it. But that is true with all things in life. Trying to see the good in what went wrong, so you can improve. You go woo hoo, that almost worked.




  2. Pingback: Are You Setting Yourself Up for Failure? Try This One Simple Thing to Guarantee Success! « The Daily Hottentots

  3. I think too .. that some of our greatest inventions have come out of failures (do NOT ask me what … I just heard that once and am irresponsibly repeating it here without first doing a Google search lol).

    But .. also .. perhaps tis not failure we fear….but failure in ourselves? In other words …. I do not see you as a failure … or that person there…. or him standing in that far corner. But inside …. ahhh …. thinks that is the type of failure we speak of? That one … is hard to overcome sometimes. .. but agrees…the lack of trying, whether in doing something externally … or internally is indeed the greatest of failures.

    *reads this last paragraph …. thinks the style …hmmm….thinks amber is rubbing off on me haha*


    • exactly Katie, even when the failure is only self perceived… it is still a fear of failing… that we project into our lives… it can be surprising to find that people we think of as ‘having all together’ and they see themselves as the complete failures… and often it is that “one thing” that they can’t let go off from the past… the ability of the mind is amazing it can free us or imprison us…

      well that was enough deep stuff for a Friday morning… happy weekend to you my friend 🙂 (and its funny I could hear that last paragraph of yours being read with a sweet Irish lilt!!)


      • Ohh…that is so true about that “one” thing that we cannot let go of (or is that two? or three? or … *shakes it off*…)

        It’s funny you use that term about “being so together” ….someone told methat once when I was having a break down … and I was thinking, are you feckin kidding me. I am the LEAST together person EVER.

        Ahhh….how we punish ourselves yes?

        As for the sound you hear reading my words…I have now started hearing you with the “eh” thing hahaha…esp since you and amber had that conversation about being Canadian and such.


        • The ‘eh’ thing… Oh please I hope not… I guarantee you I do not have a Newfie accent… (I don’t know why that is considered the Canadian accent as it is strictly east coast)… me I was born and raised on the west coast… 😉

          …and yes we are our own worst enemies aren’t we? always punishing…why am I so forgiving of others and so dang hard on myself??? – oh no I feel another blog coming on!!!!!


      • Oh….PLEASE tell me I have not offended you with that “eh” think. (I seriously apologize if I have offended…never means to do that.) Can we ate least blame Amber for making me think that?!?!? *smiles innocently*

        And…more blogs! Yah.


      • *smiles* … I am glad we are getting to be friends.


  4. I have always dreamed up…. “what do I want to be when I grow up” ….and everything I’ve wanted seemed out of reach….without so much of actually trying! and why….FEAR OF FAILURE!!! this has had a crippling effect on my “career” choices…nothing’s good enough, every job has been a “whatever” job…time to start living…..time to jump off the deep end, and learn to fly!

    P.S~ I totally agree about the spiders! yuck….lol


Talk to me...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s