musings on life, love and laughter from my spoken heart to yours

Smacked upside the head by happiness?


I believe that “happiness” as a life goal is completely useless, unless you’ve deeply explored what “happiness” means to YOU. Not to me, not to your partner, not to your parents — to YOU. ~ Stratejoy FB page

I read the above quote this morning on my FB newsfeed and it was like a smack upside the head. I mean seriously it hit me right where it hurts. I had to stop and reread it, twice. I want to be happy, I really do, I want to feel that giddy feeling all the time, I want to smile lots… but that doesn’t define happy. And now I am mulling it over, I am seriously contemplating: What makes me happy? What does happiness look like? How does it feel?  How can I achieve something if I can’t define what it is or how to obtain it? This has seriously messed up my thinking…

What makes me happy? What is happiness? Hhhmmmm… OK other people cannot supply me with happiness, correct, BUT they can bring me moments of happiness via acts of kindness and love, BUT they are not and cannot be my source. So I have to look internally… which means I must be my source for my happiness. The things I do, and say and desire must all reflect my quest for it. I have to secure it in my own heart and radiate it outwards… (sheesh, that sounds so self-help corny)…

But what is Happiness to me? Is it being loved – yes! Is it being successful at what I do – yes! Is it striving to be my best – yes! Is it liking/loving who I am – yes! Is it made up of small moments – yes! Can it be found in the midst of the storm – yes! OK I may be getting somewhere. Remember this is my list – yours may look completely different…

So what does success and striving to be your best look like? Personally I think those look like doing what you love, being kind, and respectful – even if the other person isn’t, it’s being able to know at the end of each day that you did your best and what was right… again I may be on the right path…

Perhaps the next step for me is to look at where I am not succeeding and exploring why those areas of my life are lacking… What parts of my life leave me feeling empty and unhappy, and do I have the control to change these areas or not? (For example I have the ability to control how I react to drama brought into my life by outside sources, but I cannot control the sources).

I want my happiness to be complete… but I can’t help thinking that this will be a lifelong achievement… that perhaps happiness is continually evolving and changing, as I continue to grow and change.


Author: myspokenheart

Blogger, life lover, silly-hearted daydreamer...

19 thoughts on “Smacked upside the head by happiness?

  1. That would be a good blog, are you happy with yourself, but it will get many pondering too much, How deep does your happiness need to be? ok, satisfied.. pleased.. comfortable.. impressed? ecstatic? do we beat ourselves up to achieve this? Is it possible?

    I think comfortable is the goal, stop there. and be happy *nods*

    shhhh, don’t use up all the eh’s… it is our secret weapon, they don’t know what it means.
    pssst, we need to keep them all off balance. 😉


  2. I think you answered it. Being happy with who you are, it sums it all, up doesn’t it?


  3. I think you’ve got a pretty good mix going on there. Probably be a waste of time for me as a Yorkshireman we have a reputation as miserable b******s. 😉


  4. This is making me think. I have read a handful of blogs today about “happy” … whether it be defining happiness (internally) as your blog speaks of … of smiling to make yourself and others happy (as Amber’s blog wrote of) … and a few other blogs.

    How can I figure out my happy? How do I find it? How do I keep it?

    I think you are partially right nod nods ..we cannot achieve what we can’t define …

    But … I wonder if I keep forcing myself to be “happy” … it will become real?

    At any rate … I need to read blogs like this today. Thank you.


    • Katie, I don’t know if forcing yourself to be happy works or not… I have heard many say that it does – just like if we pretend we forgive some-one eventually we will feel it… I personally don’t see it… I mean either we are feeling it or we aren’t… seasons my friend, we all go through seasons… some are sunny, some are blue…

      Keeping it I think is the hardest part, but perhaps through defining it and realizing what we have to do to find it that will make it easier? I am still searching for the answers so… but if I find them I will certainly let you know 🙂

      ((HUGZ)) for you today my friend


    • Forcing yourself? hmmm, i think surrounding yourself with happier things, staying on that side of the darkness, the brighter side, is good. It rubs off. It rubs off though, it doesn’t wallop you on the head. Trying too hard to achieve it, will build frustration, let it sneak up on you. 🙂


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